he doesn't matter (except that he totally does)
by WritingTrash
Summary: Shouto is suddenly searching every corner of the courtyard for the green silhouette of his soulmate, but is alone except for the gentle breeze. Tododeku Soulmate AU (Renamed From The Light in my Nighmares)
1. dreams (a hundred miles underwater)

**So I just watched My Hero Academia and I think I'd die for Tododeku so here we go. This my first fic for this fandom, it's a soulmate AU. I'm thinking I'm probably going to continue this, but I'm going to post this now just in case I get lazy and decide not to. Enjoy!**

Shouto had heard about soulmates his whole life. They were as prominent as quirks in their society, everyone had a quirk and a soulmate. Although his father only entertained the idea one of these things.

Soulmate connections had developed alongside quirks and were just as unique. Some were obvious, simple like a mark where your soulmate would touch you for the first time, or just their name written on your wrist. Others were more complicated, like a telepathic or empathetic connection.

Shouto was still unsure of his connection. He didn't have any strange markings and he didn't hear any voices in his head except his. Still, he remained hopeful. Everyone had a soulmate, surely he had would have one too. People often said that soulmate connections could take years to become clear.

His father said that soulmates didn't matter, Shouto would have a quirk marriage just like his parents did. Any talk of soulmates was immediately stopped, so Shouto was left to whisper questions to his mother and his siblings in the dark.

His mother's soulmate connection was a simple black band around her right wrist. She said that she didn't know what it meant, and she had never met her soulmate to find out. Fuyami had a sentence in dark blue ink scribbled on her wrist and Natsuo had a neat red string tied to his pinky that stretched far past the horizon. He always said he would go and find out where it ended one day, but he was still here.

One night, after a rigorous all-day training session with his father, Shouto collapsed in his bed covered in burns and exhausted. He promptly fell asleep. He hoped these training sessions would stop soon, he missed playing with his siblings.

The boy found himself in a dreamy courtyard. It was misty, the corners of his vision permanently blurry and unclear, no matter how hard he tried to focus. The courtyard seemed small, all he could really make out was the cool grey concrete bench directly in front of him. Even so, the courtyard seemed safe, like being in his mother's arms. Shouto noticed that his aches and pains had left him, but he didn't know if that was because he was dreaming or the nature of the courtyard.

With nothing else to do, Shouto approached the cement bench and sat down, his feet dangling over the edge. He was about to get up and try to wander around when he was suddenly no longer alone. Someone else was there, just on the edge of his blurry vision. He could feel them so strongly, it was as if they were sitting right beside him.

A voice called out, but Shouto couldn't make out what they said, it was like they were a hundred feet underwater. Everything was so far away. The boy climbed off the bench and started walking toward where he thought the voice was. There was sidewalk beneath his feet as he walked. Suddenly the voice seemed closer, although no less distinguishable, and Shouto couldn't help the smile on his face. He was so close!

The boy reached out a hand into the nothingness and he suddenly felt a touch on his fingertips. He saw a flash of green and his heart filled with a warmth that paled in comparison of the flames of his quirk. Then Shouto woke up.

It startled him enough that he let out an audible gasp. He sat up, glancing around his nearly empty bedroom, searching for the green from his dream, but was only met with harsh sunlight. Despite his newfound loneliness, Shouto wasn't deterred and nearly grinned with excitement as he climbed out from under the blankets.

His soulmate.

That was his soulmate, he just knew it. There was no other answer. That must have been his soulmate.

Shouto had to keep himself from bolting down the corridors to his mother's bedroom. He remained silent as he searched for a sign of his father along the way before finally deeming it safe and sneaking inside his mother's room, buzzing with excitement about his discoveries.

From quiet and secret research, Shouto learned that he and his soulmate has a dream connection. It wasn't incredibly unusual, but still rare. Most sites said that it meant that both he and his soulmate had powerful quirks. They said that over time he and his soulmate could actually have conversations in their dreams, but it would probably take years to develop that kind of skill.

Despite that knowledge, Shouto was still happy, he would practice and maybe someday he would get to tell his soulmate his name. Then they would be able to meet in real life and they could fall in love and live happily ever after, like the movies Fuyami watched that he sometimes was able to sneak peeks of. Then he wouldn't have to have a quirk marriage like Father said.

His training continued, ruthless and painful. His father continued to push him until he was throwing up or crying or both, but he was getting better at hiding it and just baring through it. Shouto didn't like how his mother cried and begged his father to stop until he just threw her aside. He could keep it on the inside if it meant his mother wouldn't get hit like that anymore. Besides, he could hold out until the night when he, bruised and burned, could finally curl up and sleep and escape to his dreams.

His dreams were very slowly becoming more vivid. He could just see the green grass on either side of the sidewalk now and there seemed to be a tree behind the concrete bench, but the leaves were still just a messy green blob. Although the constant white blurriness had taken on a new shape, his father's flames. Shouto wasn't sure if his soulmate could see the fire licking at the edge of his vision, but it made him afraid. They were too close to the real thing. It made him wonder if his father knew about his soulmate connection. It made him wonder if his father would start keeping him awake to stop his dreams.

His soulmate had gradually become more constant and clear as well. Of course, Shouto still couldn't make out a face or even their hair or eye color, although he often saw flashes of green when his soulmate was around. Their voice was still muffled and undistinguishable, but there were other things.

His soulmate was often wearing some kind of All Might patterned pajamas, which Shouto admired, since he could never get away with wearing anything like that in his home. His soulmate was a little shorter than him and liked to bounce around and although Shouto could never see their face, he guessed that they were always smiling at him. It made his insides bubbly when he thought about that.

They never were able to touch though. He always woke up when their hands met. He wondered with enough practice, maybe he could hold their hand, just for a little while.

Their shared dreams were getting better, even with the added flames, sometimes creeping too close. Always creeping too close, making Shouto flinch when he felt the heat. He sometimes woke up with charred sheets on his left.

Despite that, they were making progress. Shouto believed that someday he would be able to say something in his dream and hear the words clearly and maybe one day the garbled voice of his soulmate would answer back just as clearly.

Then his mother poured boiling water on his face.

After that Shouto spent several weeks in a dreamless, painful sleep. There was a constant aching in his head, especially on the left. He couldn't see out his left eye for days even after they took off the bandages and his face hurt. It always hurt.

It kept him awake and when it didn't it was the memory of his mother's face when she had turned around to see him standing there. It was the memory of his father's fiery fist, hitting again and again and again and never stopping. When he did sleep it was restless and always ended it him waking up either burning hot or freezing cold. When he did dream they were nightmares, full of boiling tea kettles and fire and no way out.

There was no way out anymore.

It wasn't until nearly a year later, after he had decided that he would reject his father and his quirk, lying awake in the dark, did Shouto finally realize.

His dreams had stopped.


	2. somewhere familiar(i’ve never been here)

**First I just have to say thank you for all the feedback! It was really refreshing because I've taken a pretty long break from writing for my previous fandom (although I still have plans to finish the unfinished ones and maybe post some of my WIPs) and now deciding to write for this one so it's nice to know that there's still people out there who want to read my stuff.**

 **So since you guys liked it I figured I could keep going! Still not sure how long this will be or where's it going but I've got some ideas so here we go. Updates probably won't be very constant, as midterms are starting up, so please bear with me! I also wrote parts of this at midnight and I don't have a beta so sorry if it doesn't make any sense. If there's any errors please tell me and I will correct them!**

Shouto was in a room with no way out. There were no windows or doors. The temperature was rising as well, as if someone unseen had just slowly started turning up the heater. The air was becoming stuffy and suffocating too quickly. The walls had white paint, but the heat was making the paint peel to reveal sharp red wallpaper underneath.

The teenager stepped toward one of the walls, pressing his hands to peeling paint, trying to keep it in place, but it melted in his fingers. Then the wall burst into flames and suddenly the whole room around him was on fire. He jumped back to the center of the room where the fire wasn't as dense and suffocating.

Shouto clinched his right fist, but the ice evaporated as soon as he tried to summon it. He surveyed the room again, coughing slightly from the smoke now collecting at the ceiling. There was no way out, no windows, no doors. Smoke wasn't even escaping through cracks in the wall. It was stuck inside, just like him.

He started coughing harder. His eyes were tearing up. The flames were creeping closer again. It didn't hurt his left side, but his right side _burned. He was sweating from the unbearable heat. Shouto fell to his knees, his pants instantly burned through at the knees. He couldn't get a clean breath. He was choking on the smoke._

He was going to suffocate. He was going to burned alive. He was going to get crushed when the room collapsed. He was going to die. Shouto was going to die.

Brutal coughs wracked his body as he struggled to breathe in and out. His skin burned, even on the left side. His vision was blurry at best. This was it. Trapped in a room on fire, that's how Todoroki Shouto would die, huh? How ironic, for the son of the fire hero.

The teenager looked up again as his vision threatened to fade. He could hear the crackling of the fire all around. He desperately searched for something he may have missed, but there was nothing.

Suddenly, he wasn't alone anymore in the room. There was a pale green outline of someone. Who? He didn't know, but their hand was outstretched for Shouto to grab and there was no time to think about it. With his last smoky breath and his vision turning black he grabbed their hand.

Shouto jerked awake, gasping aloud, then clasping a hand over his mouth, hoping he hadn't been as loud as he thought. His room was empty, as it usually was and thankfully not on fire. His skin wasn't burned and his blankets only had the usual burn marks from his own quirk. He had a habit of burned or freezing the sheets beside him during nightmares.

The simple alarm clock read 6:32 in obnoxious red numbers. His father has left early for a mission across town so he would miss seeing Shouto off to Yuuei this morning. Although, his father's absence left the house a good quiet. Fuyami had already left for work, too.

The teenager took a few deep breaths. His quirk wasn't acting up, but his hands were shaking. A moment later he threw the sheets aside and got up.

In silence, Shouto got ready for school. He took a quick shower and used his left hand to dry his hair, parting it in the mirror, then getting dressed and walking in the kitchen for a quick breakfast. Then he left. The school was far enough away that he had to take a fifteen minute train to the station near campus. He settled in a seat near the door, noticing a woman staring in his direction as the train started moving.

The staring wasn't unusual, whether it was the hair or the eyes or the scar, Shouto had plenty of reasons for someone to stare. He just looked away from the woman with a guarded expression, glancing out the window across the car from him.

The teenager knew he should probably be excited, he was going to his first day of high school at the best hero academy in Japan. But he still felt like he had cheated somehow, whether it was because they had let him in on his father's recommendation or that this was the school that his father had picked out for him. It didn't seem like his high school, just another thing his father had done for him. Another part of his life his father was controlling.

He wasn't there to train, as his father would take care of that. Shouto was there to scope out the competition for the future, maybe salvage the little social skills he had left and try to have a few conversations with people his age. His father had kept him isolated most his life, even from his own siblings.

"Friends are useless, you are to note their weaknesses, things that will keep them from getting to the top, things you can exploit, if necessary." His father had lectured last night. No friends if Shouto was going to surpass them all. "There will be plenty talk of soulmates as well, but you don't have a soulmate, so you don't have to worry about that."

Shouto suddenly remembered his dream. It wasn't the first time he had a nightmare like that. He often had one where he went up in flames, but sometimes there was the green silhouette as well. It always was the one that helped him get out. It would show him a door or a different path or it would hold out it's hand and help him wake up.

He had always thought the green silhouette must have to do with his soulmate. He could barely recall the courtyard dreams of his childhood and had never dared tell anyone that they had stopped. His mother and Fuyami were the only ones who had known they existed in the first place. With his mother gone and Fuyami busy with her own life, no one knew remembered them anymore.

His father had just assumed that Shouto didn't have a soulmate, since he didn't have any marks and had always lied when asked about any soulmate connections.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't find a way back to the courtyard. Shouto was probably an insomniac, he was always tired from training and his father and everything else, but he could barely sleep at night. When he did there were always nightmares that squashed any dreams he might have.

He figured his soulmate must have given up on him at this point, and the silhouette was just a reminder of what Shouto could have had if his life wasn't so screwed. Maybe the silhouette was just a piece of his soulmate that remained stuck in his head, while the real one had moved on years ago.

Yuuei was buzzing with activity, from the incoming first years to the returning second and third years. The campus was as nice and shiny as expected, the tall glass towers gleaming in the morning sunshine. A few pro-hero teachers Shouto recognized walked around, speaking to students and ushering them off to their home rooms. They all seemed to avoid him.

Shouto found the 1-A classroom without much trouble. The class was half filled with teenagers when he arrived, sitting in his assigned seat in the back row. Some were collected at certain desks, some bouncing around to multiple groups. One tall boy with dark blue hair and glasses lingered by the doorway, greeting everyone who walked in.

A girl with dark hair was the only one who sat anywhere near him, he recognized her from the recommendations exam. She offered him a friendly smile and a wave, but Shouto remained neutral. Part of him begged that he had just said hello back.

As the classroom slowly filled with most students, few glanced his direction. Well, no. Plenty of eyes watched him for a moment too long. Whether they were staring at his hair or his scar or the fact that he was Endeavor's son, it wasn't obvious. He cared, of course, but he had long since gotten used to the stares and they usually looked away quickly enough when he caught them.

No one, however, tried to talk to him or even smiled after the girl beside him. Shouto knew he should be thankful, he had little to no experience interacting with anyone his age beside his siblings and even they were all a good several years older than him. His father had homeschooled him for his elementary years so they could have more training time, only allowing him to go to an expensive private school in middle school so he would have some hope when met with people his age.

None of it really mattered anyway. The stares and the whispers never left him and Shouto had never allowed himself to dream of a time when they finally did. He didn't allow himself to dream anymore at all. His future was already decided.

As he observed his classmates, he could tell some of their soulmates bonds easily. A boy with spiky red hair had a black handprint on his own hand, a girl with short purple had a yellow band around her wrist, a blond, sparkly boy had a neat purple string tied to his finger, stretching out of the classroom. There were others Shouto could identify with closer attention, but some were less obvious like his own. Statistics said that 46% of people found their soulmates in high school or college.

For a moment he allowed himself a thought where one of the lucky 46% and his soulmate walked through that door right now. And he abandoned his father and he was able to apologize for the dreams and the fire and everything was perfect. Then Shouto brushed the edge of his scar and was reminded of the brutal truth. His soulmate was gone, his courtyard was gone, his dreams were gone. The only thing he could dream about now was to become the number one hero and show his father that he didn't need him or his quirk to get there. It was all he had left.

Class was almost about to begin when the class is mostly full, only a few desks remain empty as the other students returned to their seats. Two of the last students walk in. Shouto rests his head on his hand, watching the blue-haired teenager jump from his seat to the door again. He is talking to the newcomers, a girl and a boy with a simple appearance. They all seem to know each other.

Although, try as he might to not be, Shouto feels drawn to the new boy, who has curls and eyes that remind him of spring. He isn't anything special to anyone else, but for some reason Shouto finds himself wanting to be around him. He seems perfect, in some strange way that Shouto can't place. He is like a magnet for his eyes and he can't seem to look away as the boy blushes at something the others say. Class starts soon after and Shouto can only stare at the back of his head. Another voice in his head reminds him that the boy didn't even spare a glance in his direction.

The Quirk Apprehension Test was no trouble for Shouto, he barely even remembers exactly what he did to get to the second place. His classmates quirks are a variety but still, he didn't observe them as closely as he should of. Instead, that boy, who he learns is named Midoriya Izuku, captures all of his attention unwillingly.

He's unique. Someone who made it so far, all the way to Yuuei's Hero Course, yet can't even control his own quirk. He is strong, bright and it radiates from him in a way Shouto can just _tell_. He has some sort of history with Bakagou, who is an entire other problem, and for some reason Shouto still can't keep Midoriya from his mind. Even when Midoriya wasn't competing, Shouto wanted to look at him, wanted to watch him talk to his friends, wanted to be among them.

As they're changing back into their school uniforms, Shouto reminds himself. He is here to become a hero, to surpass his father and be better than he ever was. No one was going to get in his way, not even Midoriya. He couldn't let anything get in his way. This was all he had left. The only dream that remained.

The classes themselves are easy. Shouto can pretend to be engrossed in his work and ignore the whispers and giggles of his classmates who can have friends. Lunch, though, presents a new problem. It's a social hive, buzzing with students of all courses and years. The girl from recommendations, Yaoyorozu Momo, offers for him to sit with her and her newfound friends, but Shouto declines.

The cafeteria is loud and gives him a headache, so he collects his plate and quickly leaves without a word to anyone, hoping he can escape to somewhere quieter before a teacher notices him. Whether they do or not, no one stops him as he walks down the campus hallways.

It's a pleasant day, and while the temperature never affects him much, Shouto can recognize it's a gentle warm. He finds himself on a path leading outside from one of the left buildings. A concrete path winds in smooth curves into a secluded area of campus. The grass on either side of the path is a bright green, for some reason he thinks of Midoriya again.

As he walks, searching for a bench to stop and eat, he gets a feeling of deja vu. The teenager knows he's never been here before today, he hadn't known where he was going, and his feet had just brought him here without much thought. But that tree looks familiar and he can imagine exactly what it looks like in the heat of summer and the cold of winter. He can predict the next cracks in the cement of the sidewalk before he gets to them and exact curvature of the path as if he had walked it a hundred times before. It isn't until he comes across a bench along the path, just a simple cement bench underneath the shade of another beautiful green tree does he realize.

It's the courtyard from his dreams.

 **This one was long and kind of boring, but it's some plot and building stuff I had to get through. Hope you enjoyed! :)**


	3. dead (but here i am)

**Another update! Thank you for all the kudos I've gotten! I also renamed this because I thought of a way better name. It kind of goes better with the names that most other BNHA stories have. I am also thinking of posting some one-shots about some of my BNHA OCs? It includes some Tododeku kids as well as kids for most of the pairings in this story like Kiribaku and KaminJiro. If anyone's interested in that, stay tuned I guess. Anyway, enjoy!**

After the first week of school, Shouto fell into another painful familiar routine. Don't sleep, get up, go to school, come home, train, don't sleep. It becomes exactly what Shouto had imagined high school to be. What his father had imagined for him.

Yuuei is not bad, he supposed he could almost call Yaoyorozu a friend, but he doesn't dare mention her at home and he doesn't allow himself to associate the word with her. And it's obvious their interactions remain polite and not at all how she acts with her other friends. Those conversations are bubbly, nice, exciting, while Shouto simply offers generic answers to easy questions anyone else could ask.

The schoolwork isn't hard and even their heroics class is no where near the roughness of his father's training. It reminds Shouto that there are other ways to teach the same lessons. It reminds Shouto how wrong everything his father does is.

The courtyard is just as much part of his routine as everything else. Shouto ate lunch there everyday, alone. He hadn't mentioned it to anyone, not even Yaoyorozu, despite whatever their relationship was. The teenager still hadn't solved all the mysteries of it yet. It looked just as he remembered, but surely it should have changed in the many years since his last soulmate dream. It was just a normal courtyard in real life. It wasn't even that pretty, just a few trees and benches here and there. It shouldn't be important to Shouto.

Why this courtyard? There were thousands, if not millions of courtyards in Japan, why would he dream about this one? Why would he come across it accidentally on his first day of school? What did it mean, now that he had found it in real life?

Shouto had given up on his soulmate years ago. They would get in the way of his life, his future as number one. They had already left his dreams, they must have already moved on. It only made sense that Shouto should do the same. Yet this made him wonder about them, as if he was a child again, whispering soft questions to his mother in her cold, dark bedroom.

He couldn't fathom what it meant now that he had come across the courtyard and despite telling himself that it didn't even matter, Shouto kept coming back. Deep down, he knew he liked pretending that he was sitting in a dream and his soulmate was there with him, just like all those years ago. He pretended that he still had dreams of loving and being loved by someone. But when he opened his eyes, he was always alone.

Midoriya, for some strange reason, still claimed Shouto's attention in everything he did. He wasn't incredibly attractive or anything, simple in just about every way really, especially compared to the other people in their class. Shouto allows himself to declare his freckles that are like stars and his smiles that are like the sun itself endearing, at most. His quirk is powerful, but he can't control it and he only has so many fingers he can break. He should not be worthy of Shouto's constant attention.

But Shouto caught him staring at him every once in a while, which shouldn't be a problem. Everyone stares at Shouto. Although it seems different, when Midoriya looks away, face pink as he continues talking to one of his many friends. It's not judging or mean from Midoriya, the boy doesn't seem to have a mean bone in his body. Even with Bakagou, who insults him at every opportunity. But Midoriya's staring is something more curious, more thoughtful. He's always looking at Shouto like he's a puzzle he can't solve yet. He looks at him like he's important.

Midoriya is not special, Shouto will scream at himself, when he realized he has spent the last ten minutes staring at the back of his head. Midoriya is more than special, a part of him long ignored whispers back.

The subject of soulmates comes up eventually, Shouto knew it would. Some of his classmates' soulmate connections are obvious from the moment he first saw them. Yaoyorozu has a dark blue band around her forearm. Ashido has a strange curly shape tattooed on her shoulder. Kirishima has a timer in his wrist. Kaminari had a purple fist on his cheek and Jiro had yellow on her right knuckles, which is exactly what started the conversation.

It's a day in their heroics class where they are split into pairs and told to spar without their quirks. It is important to know how to fight without relying on their quirks. Shouto is put with Tokoyami, who is a good opponent. They had not even finished their first match when an exclamation rang out, louder than the grunts and words of his classmates. It caused most of the fights to stop, as most of their participants were more interested in the scream than their own sparing.

Over on the far edge of the gym stood Kaminari and Jiro, who had been paired together. They both wore shocked expressions and were staring each other down. They seemed mostly unscarthed, physically. But even Shouto, who is less than knowledgeable about most social cues, can tell something has happened between the pair. Something important.

"What happened? Are you two hurt?" All Might called, walking toward them from where he had been helping Kirishima and Ashido. This got the attention of anyone else who could have still been fighting. The whole class watched the pair, all whispering questions and concerns.

"Are they okay?"

"Did someone accidentally use their quirk?"

"This is fucking stupid. Who cares about Pikachu and Speaker Girl?"

Then Shouto noticed it. The purple fist on Kaminari's face had faded away, and Jiro's right hand, numbly hung at her side, was all the same color now.

Neither of them had cared to answer All Might, but Jiro is the first one to say anything. "I can't believe you-" Jiro began, then scoffed, already sounding exasperated. "This loser is my soulmate."

That finally broke the silence of the gym. Kaminari walked closer to her, looking nervous but excited and despite her previous words, the two both burst into smiles. The class erupted after that. Many people exclaiming their congratulations, including All Might, the girls jumping up and down, bolting toward Jiro and hugging her. A few of Kaminari's friends yelled at him and offered high fives and fist bumps. All Might eventually made everyone return to their fight not long after but even with that there is an extra excitement in the air. Nothing, it seems, is more contagious than the excitement of finding your soulmate.

Class eventually ended and All Might dismissed them a few minutes early to the locker rooms to change before they headed home. Shouto hears him wish Jiro and Kaminari good luck as they leave side by side behind him.

Shouto already had his shirt off when Kaminari entered the locker room. The other boys crowd him cheering and asking questions. "How'd it feel, man? Totally awesome?" Kirishima asked with a sharp grin.

"Uh, yeah. It's like- I dunno, I guess like I just got the answer to this question I've been asking my whole life." Kaminari answered with a softer smile than Shouto thought he could make.

"Did you guess it was Jiro? Or was it a total surprise?" Someone else asks, but Shouto already forced himself to turn around, buttoning up his school shirt.

There was no point to listen to this conversation. It didn't change his own situation, his own soulmate who was gone. No doubt happier now than they would have been with him. Plenty of people met their soulmates and lived happily ever after, Kaminari and Jiro weren't the first and definitely wouldn't be the last. Shouto wouldn't have that happily ever after, he could live without it. He did not need it. Soulmates were a distraction and listening to this would not change that fact. He didn't care about his soulmate. Nothing would get in his way of surpassing his father.

"She kinda stood out to me, ever since the first day of school. I mean, I figured she was pretty badass, but I never guessed we were soulmates. But thinking back, I guess she always grabbed my attention in a way no one else ever has." Shouto heard Kaminari respond. There is more shuffling as some boys returned to their lockers to keep changing.

"I can't wait until I meet my soulmate."

"What's your soulmate connection, Ojiro?"

"I'm kind of color blind, I can only see the color blue, everything else looks grey to me. I've heard it means my soulmate's eyes are blue, but I won't know until I meet them, of course." He explained.

"Oh that's a cool one, I knew someone in middle school who had the same one. Their eyes were brown though." Sero, Shouto thinks, responded. "I've got a name on my wrist."

After that everyone began sharing their soulmate connections. Tokoyami has a frog tattoo on his ankle, Shoji can hear songs that are stuck in his soulmate's mind. Iida has a black band on his forearm. Kirishima and Bakagou both have timers on their wrists, still counting down ever so slightly. Aoyama can shut his eyes and see a place, where he assumes his soulmate currently is.

Shouto is nearly done changing when he realized he hadn't heard about Midoriya's soulmate connection. He isn't sure why he cares, but Midoriya had stood out to him since the first day of school, and his connection can't be an obvious one because with all Shouto's staring, he would have found a sign of a connection on him already.

Iida, it seems, was reading his mind because he finally asked the green-haired boy the same question. "Midoriya, you have been unusually quiet. What's your soulmate bond?"

Shouto turned around to sit down and tie his shoes, but he watched them discreetly underneath his red and white bangs. Midoriya blushed and looked nervous at everyone's sudden attention on him. "Oh, um." Shouto heard Bakagou scoff. "My soulmate, uh- well. My soulmate died."

The room became silent at those words. Shouto finds it hard to believe as well. How could someone as bright as Midoriya, obviously with so much love and goodness in his heart, have a dead soulmate? The other boys look at each other nervously.

"That is a shame." Aoyama said, he seemed somehow less shiny in that moment.

"Sorry, man. We wouldn't have talked about it if we knew." Kirishima apologized a moment later.

The green-haired boy shook his head. "No, it's fine, it was a while ago." He seemed uncomfortable talking about it, but not unfamiliar with the subject. It must have been years ago if he knew all the normal responses to a statement like that.

"Did your mark fade away?" Tokoyami asked.

"Well, no. I didn't have a mark or anything like that." Midoriya answered. "I used to have dreams-" Shouto froze when he heard those words, echoing uselessly off the steel lockers and inside his head. The teenager had to check that he hadn't accidentally used his right side because he can't move. "-where I could see my soulmate. I couldn't make out too much about them, before the dreams stopped. They were always blurry and when they talked it sounded like they were underwater, you know? It was kinda weird. But it was nice, just to sit with them! I'm pretty sure they couldn't hear me either, but I liked talking to them. It was really nice, just knowing they existe-" Midoriya suddenly noticed that he had begun rambling. He continued again. "But when I was about six, my soulmate stopped showing up in my dreams. I don't know what else could have broken our connection, other than if they died."

There were murmurs of apologies and condolences, but no one else could offer up another explanation to Midoriya's situation either. It's such a rare soulmate connection that no one knew exactly what it meant, when one of them suddenly disappeared. His story had stopped their conversations and the boys all parted to change, most of them still not even out of their costumes yet.

Shouto still couldn't find it in himself to keep tying his sneaker. There was frost climbing his right knuckles and he's scared that someone nearby might notice the change in temperature. Dreams, dreams, dreams. The stupid word plays on repeat in his head. It's a rare connection, but surely it's possible that there could be two different pairs of soulmates with the same connections in the same class, right?

Just a minute after Shouto finally unfreezes himself, Bakagou walked past, Kaminari and Kirishima on each side. His fingers feel numb as it takes him too long to do such a meaningless task as tie his shoe. He forced any and all thoughts from his head, just blankly collecting his things to leave. It's just a coincidence. Even if it wasn't, it doesn't matter. Soulmates don't matter.

"Yeah, believe what you want losers, but I'm telling you, Deku probably never even had a fucking soulmate. He's cried over it since elementary. He probably just started making up the dreams when he realized he didn't even have a soulmate to begin with." The spiky blond said, walking out of the room. Kirishima begins to say something, but they're gone before Shouto can catch the rest.

Shouto is dressed and leaving before anyone says anything else. He swung his booksack over his shoulder as he left. Jiro is standing beside the locker room door when he exits and Kaminari has left Bakagou and Kirishima's side to walk home with her.

It doesn't matter, Shouto repeated in his head, over and over until he got home. It doesn't matter, Shouto reminded himself, once he is laying in bed, exhausted and burned from today's training.

It doesn't matter. Midoriya doesn't matter.

 **If anyone could tell me the canon age that Shouto got his scar, it'd be great because I have no idea how old he actually was when it happened. I've always thought somewhere around 5 or 6, but I don't know. As always, feedback is appreciated!**


	4. glowing green(so close i could hold you)

**The USJ part isn't the best because honestly it's probably my least favorite arc. It's exciting to watch but not really to write about, so please ignore my bad version of it. But I'm really happy with the Sports Festival part, I thought I did a good job with it, so please enjoy!**

The USJ attack is like if one of Shouto's nightmares came to life. It isn't hard for him to defeat the villains in the Landslide Zone. They are thugs, probably had a couple strong quirks and got too cocky, thinking they could kill All Might. But there was a sick feeling in his stomach as he remembered the rest of his class, thrown into this battle just like him. The teenager knew he was one of the more capable of his class, perhaps he just got dealt the easy villains, or some that were just extra weak to his ice.

As Shouto headed toward the center of the USJ arena, he imagined his less powerful classmates, those who hadn't been training since they were four, beaten and bloody from the villains. Dead.

As he ran, he thought of Midoriya, who could barely control his own quirk. Would Midoriya make it out alive? Did it matter if he did?

Shouto clinched his fists tighter, ignoring the thoughts. The teenager quickly found himself in the center where All Might had arrived, now facing one of the villains. The creature barely looked human, as tall as All Might with a fleshy, brainlike head and raven black skin. Shouto nearly wanted to throw up at the sight of it. He stepped forward with his right foot, ice raced forward and froze the second half of the creature coming out of the portal.

A moment later, like a magnet, his bicolored gaze found Midoriya. The green-haired teenager was standing not far from him, beside him on the other side were Bakagou and Kirishima. Midoriya's face wore a horrified expression at the scene, the creature split in half, one side iced, the other still held by All Might.

It had been barely two weeks since Midoriya revealed his soulmate connection and Shouto would have liked to lie and say that it hadn't occupied most of his waking thoughts. He had come to the conclusion that even if he was his soulmate, it didn't matter. He would get in Shouto's way. If Midoriya did somehow figure out Shouto was his soulmate, he would probably be disgusted and not want him anyway. It was better if he kept his suspicions to himself.

The fight escalated after that, to the point Shouto didn't want to look away from All Might and the creature to even spare a glance toward Midoriya. The pale-haired man covered in hands, probably the leader, called the creature a Nomu. The creature was ultimately defeated, but the leader remained, now bolting toward All Might.

Of course Midoriya had to leap into battle as well, rushing to protect their teacher. Idiot, All Might could protect himself. Shouto felt himself move, wanting to rush after Midoriya. Perhaps he could freeze the leader before the green-haired boy decided to take out another finger.

Before he could do anything however, a shot rang out, and the leader flinched, stumbling backwards. Shouto glanced toward the entrance and Snipe, with a row of their pro-hero teachers, stood there. A soft sigh of freezing air escaped him. They were saved.

The aftermath of USJ was full of camera flashes and reporters. They, for some reason, wanted to interview Shouto the most out of his classmates. Maybe it was because he had lived in the spotlight his entire life as Endeavor's youngest son. Eventually after enough of his "no comments" and his one word answers, they finally left him alone. He was just as unapproachable as his father, the teenager read in an article about himself the next day.

They were given time off school, but for Shouto that only meant more training, more fire, more sleepless nights. His father was furious that he had allowed the villains to escape. He was forced into more training for his inability to capture them.

The first day back after the attack, Mr. Aizawa announced the Sports Festival. His classmates buzzed with anticipation. They were excited to show off for agencies, to show what they were made of. For Shouto, he knew it was just another expectation. His father would expect nothing less than first place. Shouto knew he shouldn't expect anything less either.

Shouto caught Midoriya chatting with Uraraka about the festival, smiling and bubbly. He and Bakagou would probably be Shouto's biggest competition. The spiky blond was loud and cocky and had a ego as large as Ground Beta, but his quirk was powerful. He was warranted in some of his boasting. But deep down, Bakagou was exactly what he seemed.

Midoriya on the other hand, he was still a wild card. Every time Shouto thought he had figured him out, he managed to surprise him. His quirk was limited, since he still couldn't control it. But he was smart and analytical and he had a plan for everything. Shouto wouldn't be surprised if he somehow figured out a way to win the festival without even breaking something. Shouto had denied that they were soulmates, even after hearing Midoriya's story, but it was obvious they has some sort of connection that Shouto still couldn't figure out how to ignore. Soulmate or not, he would pose the biggest challenge in the festival. Midoriya would be what stood between him and first place.

Shouto had hoped his declaration of war would have scared Midoriya enough to stay out of his way, but of course the shorter teenager managed to surprise him again. He had snuck in a win at the obstacle race, shocking both him and Bakagou. Then he did it again, sliding into third round, with the help of his teammates.

But more than that, he had forced Shouto to use his left side. He hadn't even noticed in the moment, only after, when the buzzer had echoed off the concrete and Midnight began announcing their places. It made him want to freeze over the damn whole stadium, furious with himself that he let Midoriya, of all people, get to him. How could he break down a decade of resolve in a stupid festival event?

Something in Shouto made him pull Midoriya aside and tell the green-haired boy, who still had tears in the corner of his eyes, that they needed to talk. Once they were alone, Shouto just started talking, he told him about his family, his mother, his promise to himself to deny his father everything. Later on, he had wondered why he even told Midoriya any of that. Perhaps he was just that easy to talk to or it was whatever that kept drawing Shouto to the green-haired boy. Once he had started talking, he couldn't stop until he ultimately said, "I'll rise above you with just my right side."

Shouto started walking away after that, it almost felt good to tell someone, to let it all out after years of keeping it in. The only thing he didn't tell Midoriya about was his soulmate. His soulmate didn't matter, they would not effect his life, his rise to the top, they wasn't even important enough to tell Midoriya.

When the shorter boy stopped him with his own declaration of war, Shouto didn't care. He didn't care about Midoriya and whatever plans he had. He would not stand in Shouto's way.

Midoriya was running out of fingers, and Shouto was running out of ice. He was getting slower and he knew it, they both did. His right side felt numb, every time he moved he heard the crinkle of frost, biting at his skin. But his resolve was strong, he would win this fight without Endeavor's quirk, even if he lost a finger or two himself.

But Midoriya was shouting at him, stupid words, standing there, half broken. Although, his eyes were just as bright and determined as ever. Shouto could see him, nearly glowing with the aftereffects of his quirk. His determination would only be his downfall, he was too stubborn. It didn't matter, Shouto thought as he sent another ice blast across the stadium toward the green-haired teenager. He would still lose.

He didn't matter. What he was saying didn't matter.

He didn't fucking matter.

Nothing mattered except surpassing his father. Nothing mattered except first place. Nothing mattered except for denying his father everything.

"But you're not denying him! You're only denying yourself, by using only half your power!" Midoriya shouted as he shattered through his ice once again. The cold shards hit his face, reminding him of his mother's frosty fingertips. Always so cold.

He was using his broken fingers, trying to keep going. Surely Cementoss would end the fight soon. The green-haired teen looked worse for wear, all except for his eyes, still shining, still fighting.

"I won't give my father satisfaction by using his-" Shouto called back, only to be cut off by Midoriya's frustrated yell. Another ice blast. He could feel the cold spreading up his limbs.

"But it's not his!" Shouto faltered, blinking at him in shock. The green-haired teenager broke through his ice again, he was lighting up with his quirk, shockingly familiar to the thing that lingered in all Shouto's nightmares.

"It's yours! It's your power, not his!" Midoriya screamed, glowing just like that green silhouette. Shouto's eyes widened.

The thing that saved him every night, saved him from his nightmares, from his father, from himself. His soulmate, standing right there in front of him. Saving him once again, it seemed.

"I'm sorry." Shouto gasped softly, too softly for anyone besides himself to hear. He felt so warm suddenly. "You do matter." He said, just before his left side burst into flames.

His soulmate just grinned.

 **There it is! Kind of changed some of the exact wording of the scenes, but let's just say that's because of the AU, not because I was too lazy to go back and watch the episodes again. It's all downhill for Shouto now.**

 **Reviews are always appreciated of course! Hope you guys liked it!**


	5. i don’t deserve you (but you love me)

**Back again, I come baring another chapter. It's not great, but enjoy!**

"I met my soulmate." Shouto finally uttered. It was strange to refer to Midoriya as his soulmate.

His mother had a surprised expression, watching him with concerned stormy eyes. She glanced down at her pale hands, folded in her lap, clearly deciding what to say before she looked back at him. "Good. You deserve that, Shouto."

He wasn't sure how true that was. Surely, if Midoriya really knew they were soulmates, he would reject him. Perhaps it would be because he made him think he was alone and soulmateless for so many years. Maybe it would be because he had too many problems. Shouto was too broken for someone as great as Midoriya to ever want.

"Well, he doesn't know that we met. He thinks I'm dead." Shouto answered, then he told her about everything Midoriya had said when they spoke about their connections in the locker room. His mother listened patiently, she was always so quiet, even now.

He had spent every afternoon since the festival visiting her, maybe some part of him was trying to make up for lost time. His first visit had been full of apologies and tears, but eventually they moved past that. He had already told her about Midoriya and how he saved him. He was the reason Shouto had even reached out to his mother again after all these years. He had left out the part about them being soulmates until now, still too shocked to say it out loud to anyone yet.

It was nice, talking to her. It filled this place that Shouto hadn't realized needed filling. His mother was soft and gentle, and ever so hesitant in the things she said and did. She was similar to how she used to be when he was younger, similar to the woman in the handful of memories he had of those early years. Similar to the ghost he remembered as his mother.

But she was different now too. She flinched at the loud noises that echoed outside the door. She was careful, breathing slowly. She barely touched him. She had cried when he first stepped inside her white room. She never talked about his father, like he was a monster they couldn't speak of. It was obvious that so much about her now was a result of all those years when she did live with them, and even being in this hospital for nearly a decade wouldn't change that.

Yet it was also so painfully obvious how much she cared about him. She listened intently to everything he said, those grey eyes sparkling. She asked questions about his schoolwork and his friends and him. She wanted to know him, make up for those missing years as much as he did. It was surreal, to have someone who actually cared about him like this. Sure, he had Fuyumi and Natsuo, but it wasn't the same. It wasn't the same as having a parent care about him like this.

"Well, that seems like quite the problem, Shoflake." She answered. He smiled softly at the nickname. He hadn't heard it in years.

"I don't know if I should tell him."

"I don't have much experience myself with soulmates," They both glanced to the black band around her wrist, a sharp contrast in the white room, on her white skin. "but, you'll know if you should tell him. You'll know when the time is right. Maybe now just isn't the right moment. Be friends first, get to know him, then you can decide what to do."

Shouto nodded, they were quiet for a heartbeat. It was always so quiet in her room. Their relationship was rocky at best, but he would salvage it. He would fix them, the best he could.

"Thanks, Mom."

His father was out of town for the next few days, so the house was a good quiet when he returned. If Fuyumi was home, she didn't make it known as Shouto dug through the fridge for some soba. He ate quietly in his room while he finished his English essay.

School had been different since the Sports Festival. His schedule was less predictable now. It had only been a week and a half, but it was different. Shouto supposed he was coming out of his shell, just barely. Well, more like Midoriya had begun to drag him out with those bright eyes and sunny smile.

The green-haired boy had started inviting him to various things, study sessions in the library, group projects, team exercises. He had done a worksheet with him just yesterday and it had been, dare he say, nice. Midoriya was careful in not pressuring him despite all his invitations, always offering him a way out if he seemed particularly uncomfortable. His friends were just as welcoming, happy to have another person in their already tight knit group, but none of them were like Midoriya.

It was easy to spend time with Midoriya. He was happy to take control of conversations when Shouto was lost for words, chatting about school or heroes or anything. He strayed from talking about Shouto's father or appearance, usually normal conversation starters for anyone else who tried to talk to him. It was easy to listen to him talk as well. His conversations were always interesting, to Shouto at least. Most of their classmates, even Midoriya's friends, would cut him off if he went on for longer than a minute or two. He was funny and smart and bubbly. He made Shouto feel bubbly, too.

Maybe it was the soulmate connection, but Midoriya seemed perfect in just about any way Shouto dared to look.

He had started eating lunch with Midoriya and his friends as well, partly because it was nice to just sit and listen to their jokes and stories, rather than revel in the silence of his own thoughts, but also partly in fear that Midoriya would come find him alone in their courtyard and put two and two together. Although, he couldn't say that the changes were completely unwelcome. Sure, it got overwhelming sometime especially in the beginning, around all those people, forced to make simple conversations. It seemed so easy for them, but Shouto still had trouble finding the words. He sometimes felt as if he had accidentally activated his right side and froze himself in the conversation, struggling to say anything.

But it was also nice. It was nice to walk into class and have Uraraka and Midoriya wave him over, chatting about a post they saw online. It was nice to sit at their cafeteria table, everyone trading their food with each other. It was nice to hear their stories, to do a training exercise and chat about it afterward. It was nice to have somewhere to belong.

He suspected that Midoriya had no idea about their true relationship, but of course, he could always surprise him. He was good at that. His soulmate was terribly observant and smart, he could easily figure it out, especially if he was feeling the same things as Shouto.

Internships started next week. Finishing second gave Shouto plenty of options, but he had begrudgingly picked his father's agency. He was sadly the best option, since he needed to learn how to better control his left side, left untamed after years of nonuse. It would be a crappy week, but he would bare through it. He would get better, stronger. Then perhaps he would be deserving of a soulmate like Midoriya.

Even with his father gone with work, the shadows and flames still lingered on the edge of his vision. The house smelled like a fireplace, the walls and floors creaked as the house settled. That night, the nightmares left him alone for the most part. But his sleep was just as restless and scattered as usual.

 **Rei has special nicknames for all of her children!! You can't change my mind!**

 **This chapter was kind of short and boring, but next chapter will be the hero killer arc and that's going to be important! So bare with me, and happy new year!**


	6. were you waiting for me?

**It's hero killer time! This is a pretty long chapter. I also changed the chapter titles now that I kind of know where I'm going with this story now.**

Shouto was trailing behind his father when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He glanced up at Endeavor first, currently yelling at his sidekicks and uninterested in him, before pulling his phone out and unlocking it.

It was a single text from Midoriya and Shouto's heart soared. He loved Midoriya's texts. Since their friendship began, Midoriya had been one of his only friends who ever texted him, often checking on him or sending him strange pictures and videos he called 'memes'. They could have hour long conversations about nothing, and it allowed Shouto to be able to react and respond without social pressure. Texting was such a wonderful invention, no wonder his father had been so against it.

However, Midoriya's text was not a meme or a friendly message, but rather a location. Frowning, Shouto opened it and found it was a street in Hosu, not far from where he was. There was no other explanation.

Short, obscure texts like this were unlike his soulmate. Usually Midoriya's texts were long paragraphs with plenty of emojis. Something was wrong.

He couldn't tell exactly what part of him was telling him that, but as soon as he opened the text, he felt a strong burst of fear. Maybe it was that part that Midoriya's green silhouette remained in, but it didn't stop his sudden feelings. Fear for Midoriya. Fear for his soulmate. Something was wrong.

His fingers were trembling barely as he held his phone. The air suddenly felt cold and frost crept up his right knuckles. Something was wrong.

A sudden explosion jerked Shouto's attention from his phone, but the feeling of dread remained. His father jumped forward, ready to tackle whatever enemy stood in his path now.

"Shouto, get over here!" He yelled, flames blazing.

Something was wrong with Midoriya. He had to find him, he had to make sure he was okay. "No."

Endeavor stopped, turning just enough where Shouto could see one blazing blue eye. "What?"

"You handle that. I've got something else to do." The teenager said. He sent the address to his father and glanced at it one more time before pocketing his phone again. "If you finish up here, come to the location I sent you. I think something may be wrong."

His father just blinked, but Shouto turned on his heel and ran before he could say another word. As long as Midoriya was okay, he didn't care what his father had to say.

The twists and turns down the streets leading to Midoriya's sent location are agonizing. His stomach was dropping and his head was fuzzy. He couldn't think about anything but Midoriya. This was just from their basic connection as soulmates, he couldn't imagine having a empathetic soulmate connection.

He had to be close by. Shouto turned into a dark alley and nearly collapsed at the scene. Three bodies were lying in the alley way, two on the ground and one against the wall. The Hero Killer was approaching one of them. He spotted a familiar green uniform on one of the ones on the ground. Midoriya.

Shouto clinched his fist. He bolted forward, reaching out with his left as a burst of fire exploded from his hand and threw the Hero Killer away from the bodies.

"Midoriya!" He exclaimed, emotion breaking through his cool mask he usually held. Shouto rushed to his body. The familiar messy curls shifted barely and his head turned slightly.

He was alive. His soulmate was alive.

Shouto nearly cried in relief. He had to cover up his worry, so the green-haired boy wouldn't notice. "Be more specific next time, I almost got here too late." He scolded, hoping Midoriya didn't see right through him.

"Todoroki, you're here." Midoriya gasped, not even caring about what he said. "Don't let him taste your blood, he can paralyze you! That's what happened to me and Iida." He warned.

For the first time, Shouto glanced at the other two bodies, one Iida's familiar uniform, another a minor pro-hero he vaguely recognized. He didn't have enough time to look at anything else because the Hero Killer suddenly attacked him. He felt a knife slice through the burned skin of his scar and the battle began.

The hospital room was silent, besides the snores of his two classmates. Iida's were rhythmic and almost resembled the sound of an old engine starting up. Midoriya drooled slightly in his sleep, his snores softer.

Shouto couldn't sleep, as usual. The battle with the Hero Killer could have ended so much worse than it did. He also was furious that his father would get the credit for it, but it made the most sense due to their situation. Still, they were alive. Ultimately, that's all that mattered.

He was exhausted both mentally and physically. But he still couldn't find it in himself to fall asleep. Adrenaline still buzzed in his veins. When he shut his eyes, he saw Midoriya lying on the ground. When he started drifting off, he found out what happened if he had arrived just a few minutes later.

So instead of sleep, he resigned in watching his soulmate a few feet away on his own bed. He was facing Shouto, fast asleep. His messy green curls looked black in the dark hospital room. Moonlight shined through the window behind Shouto, illuminating the other boy's face. His freckles looked even more starry than normal. He looked peaceful, like he hadn't been fighting for his life just hours ago.

Shouto smiled barely as Midoriya shifted, another curl falling in his face. In admiring him, he hadn't noticed how his snores had silenced. Suddenly, those green eyes opened, meeting Shouto's gaze immediately. He was caught.

Midoriya blinked a few times, squinting at him. "Todoroki-kun?" His voice was scratchy with sleep.

The unspoken question lingered in the space between their beds. 'Were you watching me sleep?'

Shouto just stared. What was he supposed to say? He finally murmured. "Sorry, did I wake you?"

Midoriya rubbed his eye and sat up. "No. It wasn't you." He sighed. He sounded deep in thought, like he was a hundred feet away.

"Oh." Shouto wasn't sure whether he should leave him alone or not.

It may have been a nightmare, but Shouto figured he should have seen more thrashing while Midoriya had still been sleeping. Unless, it had to do with their soulmate dreams. He wasn't sure how the dreams worked for him, whether he could still go to the courtyard or if he was locked out like Shouto seemed to be.

A few more seconds of silence passed before he spoke again. "Do you want to talk about it?"

The green-haired teenager looked at him, puzzled. His eyes glowed in the soft moonlight. He looked even more angelic than usual. He glanced over at Iida, across the room and still sound asleep. Midoriya sighed softly, fiddling with his white sheets. "You know how my soulmate died, right?" He whispered.

He wasn't dead. Shouto was right there.

The teenager nodded without a word. He sat up, pushing his sheets aside and sitting criss-crossed on his bed, facing him.

"Well, before they died, we used to be able to meet up in this...courtyard, I guess. It was a bench and some trees and stuff. It wasn't anything special, but it was important to us. I used to talk for hours about nothing. We couldn't see or hear each other clearly, but it still felt good to talk to them. To know they were there and they listened to me. It helped me, when I was going through some stuff when I was younger." Midoriya paused.

Everything he said made so much sense, Shouto could nearly imagine their dreams from years ago. The garbled noises that had flowed from his soulmate hadn't make any sense at all, but it was nice to listen to him all the same. It was comforting to know that his soulmate even existed, that there was someone out there who would love him with all his faults. He had never imagined he would be sitting in a hospital room with his soulmate years later, talking about himself being dead.

"I saw them smile once." Shouto glanced up in surprise, jerked out of his own memories of their dreams. Midoriya didn't notice and continued. "It was one of the last times I saw them, I was telling them about my day at school. I don't know if they actually heard what I was saying or anything, but I looked over at them and I saw this- flash. They were all red and white and glowing and I saw their smile, clearly, just for a second. I think it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

Shouto froze, watching Midoriya. He thought he was beautiful? Surely he wouldn't think that now. His perspective as a child was different. They were different people now than when they were children. He couldn't really mean that. Midoriya would never think something like that about him now.

"They were gone not long after that. Just disappeared. Just stopped showing up. I've never seen them in the courtyard since then." Midoriya finished.

"You can still go to the courtyard? In your dreams?" Shouto asked before he could stop himself.

The green-haired boy smiled sadly. "I can't go anywhere else. Every night I just sit in there and wait until I wake up. I guess it's kind of good, I can't have nightmares or anything like that, but it's awful to just sit there. I know they're not coming back but I can't go anywhere else or dream about anything else. I guess my dreams just like torturing me." He sniffed softly.

He was trapped there, in their courtyard. Shouto looked down at his hands. He might be trapped in his nightmares, but it sounded like Midoriya had it just as bad.

"I think the worst part is that I'll never get to know what happened to them." Midoriya admitted.

"I'm sorry." Shouto said.

Midoriya looked up suddenly. As the taller teenager had assumed, there were in fact shiny tears in his eyes. He hated the sight of them. "What for?"

"Your soulmate." Shouto hesitated. He didn't want to say anything that would give himself away. Although, he couldn't get all the things his soulmate had said out of his head. It was his fault Midoriya was so sad, that he thought he was soulmateless and alone. "They don't deserve you, Midoriya." Shouto finally added.

He was silent, fiddling with his crooked fingers in his lap. Shouto had hurt his soulmate in too many ways. He didn't deserve him at all.

"I don't know. I think I loved them when they were alive, in that kid way you love your friends and stuff. They were there for me when I didn't have anyone else. I have to guess that they didn't want to die, so I guess I can't blame them for it. It's just what fate had in store for me." Midoriya answered. He gave Shouto a small teary smile.

No, he definitely didn't deserve him.

Silently, Shouto finally nodded. "I guess." He lied.

"We should probably go back to sleep. I don't want to wake up Iida." The green-haired teenager said. "Thanks for listening, I think it felt better to talk about it. I haven't told anyone else any of that, besides my mom."

"No problem." Shouto paused. "If you ever want someone to talk to, I don't mind listening. You have my number."

Midoriya hesitated, clearly thinking it over, then nodded shakily. "Goodnight, Todoroki-kun."

"Goodnight." They both rolled over, facing away from each other. Midoriya was not a quiet crier and it made Shouto's heart hurt.

Eventually Shouto drifted asleep, somewhere around two am and after Midoriya's soft sobs were finally replaced with snores.

The teenager found himself standing alone on a sidewalk. He glanced around for fire or heat or a shadow that was shaped like his father. However, it seemed for the first time in a long time, he was alone in his dream.

He didn't trust it though. His mind liked to torment him, lure him into safe spaces only to burn him alive. Shouto started down the sidewalk cautiously, twists and cracks achingly familiar. It was just his imagination. It wasn't the same.

The edges of his vision were faded and blurry, only the things directly in front of him were clear. The sidewalk was smooth and cool under his feet, soothing. Everything about this place was safe.

He turned a corner and froze. A concrete bench was there, a tree stretching up in a misty haze. The green of the leaves were barely noticeable, the bark a muted brown. The whole scene seemed faded, except for his soulmate who sat on the bench, as bright as the sun.

Midoriya.

Shouto couldn't see his features, only the messy blurry shapes, but he could imagine him. The bouncy green curls, messier with sleep. The soft freckles dotting his skin and the pale blue hospital clothes they both wore.

Those gorgeous green eyes, that weren't just green, but instead had gold flakes in them as well. He could imagine them widening, his right hand that was forever scarred from their battle clutching the concrete bench in surprise. Something to ground him, remind him where he was.

Shouto was here. He was in the courtyard again. Surely this was some sort of fantasy. This couldn't be real. Fate was not this nice to him.

His soulmate stood and rushed forward. He grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers and holding on tightly. They couldn't touch before, couldn't feel each other before, but here he was, clutching Shouto's hand and shaking, probably crying. He was no clearer up close, and he was saying things Shouto couldn't make out. Frantic, worried words. Was he asking where he had been, why he had left him?

"I'm real." Shouto answered the garbled questions. He probably couldn't understand him either, but he answered him anyway. "I'm here."

Midoriya's figure flashed green as he embraced him.

His soulmate was hugging him. Midoriya was hugging him. He could see the blobby mess of curls, unable to tell the texture if he didn't stare at the back of his head from the back of the classroom every day.

Shouto didn't hesitate a moment longer as he hugged Midoriya back. He wrapped his arms around him and buried his face in his hair. It felt just as soft as it looked. Midoriya was trembling in his arms, something like sobs coming out of him, but it was as distorted as the words he tried to say.

Despite that, his soulmate was warm. His embrace was strong and comforting. He felt safe in his arms. They clung to each other, hugging as tightly as they could. Shouto was scared that he would let go and Midoriya would be gone, or maybe morphed into something terrible.

His senses were strange here, it seemed he couldn't see or hear him clearly, but they could touch now. He was acutely aware of everywhere Midoriya touched, his arms around his chest, his head tucked in Shouto's neck.

They were reunited in their dreams for some strange, unknown reason. He didn't care why, as long as he never had to let go of Midoriya again. "I'm here." Shouto breathed, his soulmate's curls tickling his face.

"I'm home."

Shouto woke to harsh hospital lights and the sound of sobs. His soulmate dream had simply faded away, rather than the sudden jerks back into consciousness like his nightmares. It was peaceful to wake up for once and it was probably the best sleep he had had in years. The teenager opened his eyes to see his soulmate.

Midoriya was sitting up on his bed, his knees pulled to his chest. He had his hands over his mouth trying to muffle his crying. He stared wide eyed at the sheets tangled in front of him, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Midoriya! What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost." Iida asked, nearing the green-haired teenager worriedly.

He didn't respond. Shouto sat up and frowned. Maybe his dream hadn't been real after all. Maybe the Midoriya he had seen and finally been allowed to touch had just been a figment of his imagination. Some different form of the green silhouette.

The green-haired teenager moved his hands from his mouth, his hiccups becoming slightly more under control. His eyes slid to the side, connecting with Shouto's.

There was something about his eyes when they met his. They were shiny with tears and a mix of emotions. It was obvious as they stared at each other. Something new was there. The two of them stared for a painfully long moment.

He looked away from Shouto. His eyes flickered to the white sheets again. "I think I did."

 **I don't know how I feel about this yet, but here you go. Thanks for reading!**


	7. you seem so familiar (and you’re lying)

**Ahh! You guys liked the last chapter! I'm so happy! I loved all the reviews! Sorry for the long wait, school has decided to hate me again.**

 **I'm not overly inspired by the next few arcs so I don't know how good these next few chapters will be, but things should pick up around the hideout raid arc and after they move into dorms.**

"So you have no idea what happened, Deku?" Uraraka asked. Shouto watched the conversation silently, as he usually did at lunch. He wasn't good at talking in large groups, more content to just listen until he was directly spoken to.

Since they had returned from their internships, there had been two things their class had asked about: Stain and Midoriya's soulmate. It was almost ironic, how much they asked about the green-haired boy's soulmate, unaware they were actually talking to him.

Midoriya shook his head, poking at his rice. "They were gone, and then they just suddenly showed up again. I don't know anything other than that." He sounded tired of the conversation, Shouto didn't blame him. He was tired of the conversation too, and he was asked about it much less than Midoriya was.

"Perhaps they were in a coma?" Iida suggested. "That would make sense."

The green-haired boy shrugged. "I have no idea. I've researched all the way back to the origin of soulmate connections, but nobody seems to have a solution."

"Well, it is a pretty rare connection! I thought it was pretty cool when you first mentioned it, but I guess it makes it hard to understand what's going on." Uraraka chirped. "I guess I'm lucky I have such a generic one." The brunette held up her wrist, a given name was scribbled on the inside in purple.

"It's never been easy to find out information about my connection. Hopefully this is the end of all the weird stuff, and eventually I can meet my soulmate and figure out what happened." Midoriya concluded, popping a chunk of rice into his mouth.

"Yes, that is probably the best course of action! I do wish you luck in your soulmate research, just as you have been supportive when speaking with Uraraka and I about our own soulmates!" Iida chopped at the air with his unhurt arm.

"It's not a big-" Midoriya was cut off as Uraraka gasped loudly. "What?"

"Todoroki!" Shouto suddenly looked at her. Was there something on his face? He had zoned out of the last part of their conversation, he hadn't heard exactly what his friends had said.

"What?" He asked the girl.

"What's your soulmate connection?! I've never asked!" Uraraka exclaimed.

Shouto felt his blood run cold. How did he answer that? He couldn't tell them the truth, especially with his soulmate sitting right next to him, but he didn't want to lie either. The teenager wasn't a very good liar under pressure, except with his father, of course. They would all be able to tell he was lying as soon as he spoke.

Iida opened his mouth to probably try and provide an answer, but instead gasped as well.

"Here we are, talking about our soulmates and we have never even asked about yours! I am sorry for leaving you out, Todoroki." The taller teenager added.

Midoriya was strangely quiet, eating his rice in silence as his bright eyes flickered between his friends. His gaze almost seemed to linger on Shouto longer than the other two. It was probably just his imagination.

"It's okay. I've never told anyone at school." Shouto answered dumbly. Why was every soulmate connection he had ever heard of escaping him now, in his time of need? All he could think of was his dreams.

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"What's your connection, Todoroki?"

"A mark." His brain supplied stupidly.

A mark, really? He didn't have any marks that could even pass as a soulmate mark. Maybe his scar? But Midoriya already knew about his scar, he'd see right through him.

"Really? Where is it?" Uraraka asked, smiling in that way everyone did when they talked about soulmates.

"What is it of? I don't believe I've noticed it when we've changed in the locker rooms." Iida questioned.

Shouto glanced over at Midoriya, hoping he could help him. He was always good at helping Shouto out of stressful social situations. However, Midoriya was staring at his bowl like it was the most interesting thing he had ever seen, chopsticks poking at his rice.

"You can't see it when I change."

They just stared at him.

"But we have to change our shirt and pants, the only thing we don't take off in the locker rooms is-" Iida suddenly stopped. His face turned red. Shouto was trying very hard to not do the same thing.

Uraraka started giggling. "Oh my god, Iida-kun you should see your face."

"Well, we shouldn't pry about Todoroki's soulmate connection anyway!" The class representative exclaimed.

"Yeah, sorry we asked. Clearly you didn't tell us for a reason." She snickered.

Midoriya didn't say a word for the rest of the lunch hour, even after their conversation topic changed. His silence set Shouto on edge.

The dreams were not consistent. Sometimes it was three times in a row, then only once the next week. Yet Shouto still couldn't find it in himself to be frustrated with the inconsistency. He was just happy to be back, to be here, instead of some nightmare.

His sleeping problems hadn't instantly been fixed. Sleep still escaped him, and nightmares still plagued him. Although, he was more likely to sleep at all or go back to sleep after he jerked awake, just because he knew that he could get back to the courtyard. When he did have soulmate dreams, it was the always best sleep ever. It could just be an hour or two in the courtyard, but when he woke, he always felt as if he had slept for days.

Shouto started a calendar, marking the nights that he had dreams. Maybe there was some sort of pattern he could find and exploit. So far, it had been as random as it seemed. It felt like an awfully Midoriya thing to do, knowing his soulmate, he probably had a notebook filled with the same things. The teenager kept it in his book sack, so that his father wouldn't accidentally stumble upon it one day.

Tonight was a good dream night. He had instantly found the courtyard when he had first fallen asleep. Shouto sat on the bench like usual. Midoriya was beside him, he was always there before Shouto. His fingers were intertwined with his. Subconsciously, as he listened to the garbled words that flowed from his mouth, his fingers brushed over the scars on the other boy's hand.

Shouto didn't pretend to understand how their dreams worked, every explanation he thought of was quickly debunked. He didn't know why they had suddenly stopped and started again, after all these years of absence. He didn't know why he could suddenly touch Midoriya without any repercussions, when they couldn't even touch for a second as children. Soulmate bonds were as strange and unpredictable as quirks, so Shouto didn't waste very much time trying to figure it out, beside his calendar.

The teenager figured Midoriya had tried. He had heard as much from the boy when they were awake, various theories and ideas Shouto caught him telling their classmates. Midoriya hadn't explicitly told him anything about his soulmate dreams since that night in the hospital. He didn't know why.

Was he talking about his theories now?

The taller boy looked over at his soulmate. His outline was a soft green, the edges of him too fuzzy for Shouto to make out any of his features. It was as if someone had just gotten some paint and dumped it into a shape vaguely Midoriya shaped. But Shouto knew his soulmate's appearance perfectly, he did a lot of staring during the day. He knew the curve of his nose, his bright eyes. Every freckle that dusted his skin, that one that was on the tip of his nose and the ones splattered across his cheeks.

He wanted to kiss every freckle Midoriya had.

The thought surprised him so much, that Shouto nearly slipped off the bench. He felt Midoriya's crooked fingers tighten about his and his talking stopped for a moment. The taller teenager rightened himself beside his soulmate. Shouto mumbled an assurance, despite knowing that he couldn't understand him. However, Midoriya seemed to understand the meaning and continued talking, squeezing his hand.

He wanted to kiss Midoriya. Shouto felt like he had been hit by a train, or maybe Midoriya himself. He wanted to kiss him. He wanted to kiss Midoriya very badly, he realized. Shouto wondered if Midoriya had any freckles on his lips.

The hand holding his squeezed again. Shouto glanced over in confusion. They always held hands now, for some sense of comfort.

Midoriya had scooted closer, pressing against his left side. Maybe he could feel the natural warmth that radiated from his left. He wasn't sure if they could use their quirks in their dreams.

No matter, he was closer now, hand tightly holding Shouto's. Not in a strangling way, but more like he was reminding him that he was here. It was safer when they were holding hands. It reminded them that the other was real.

Midoriya had run out of things to say now, settling for silence. It was just as comforting as listening to him talk. Everything about Midoriya radiated safety and comfort. Shouto didn't know if that was because of their soulmate connection or if that was just the kind of person Midoriya was.

His head eventually drooped, resting on Shouto's shoulder. Awake, he might have stiffened and froze. But in his dreams, their dreams, he was safe. He rested his head on Midoriya's, his curls tickling his scar.

Shouto wished for a moment that they could have this in their conscious lives. That he could kiss Midoriya and all of his freckles and hold his hand and bury his face in his hair. That wouldn't ever happen, so Shouto tried to not waste very much time dreaming about that either.

They stayed like that for a long time.

 **Shouto panicking and accidentally telling everyone he had a soulmate mark on his dick is such a mood. That's me under pressure.**

 **Hope you enjoyed, it wasn't super eventful, sorry!**


	8. electric (keeping secrets now)

**Thanks for all the positive feedback! I love reading all your comments! I'm thinking that this will probably end up being 13-14 chapters. It mostly depends on how things play out, but that's just where I'm thinking this story will end at this point.**

 **School has started up again, so I'm not sure how often these next few updates will be. I've been trying to be consistent, but my AP classes like to kick my ass randomly (thanks for the 3 different unit tests last Monday, that was really good) and I'm going on vacation soon. Maybe I'll be able to write on the plane. Anyway, thank you for sticking with me for these next few months and all that jazz and without further ado, here you go!**

The train screeched to a halt in the station. Shouto grabbed his book sack from the seat beside him and stood near the doors alongside the other passengers. A voice overhead chattered about their destination, then the doors slid open.

The walk from the train station to Yuuei wasn't far. Shouto didn't mind the walk. It was just enough time for him to clear his thoughts before school. Everyone he passed by was too busy on their own way to schools and works to pay any attention to him.

Final exams were coming up next week. He had been struggling with keeping up with his schoolwork alongside his father's training. Yaoyorozu was holding study sessions for everyone at her house each weekend as exams grew closer, so maybe he could escape to one of those without much trouble.

Exams had been taking a toll on his soulmate as well. He knew Midoriya was staying up late, partly because of how tired he seemed during the day, but also partly because of their dreams. There were nights where Shouto sat alone for a little while. He knew he shouldn't complain about that, Midoriya had spent years alone in their courtyard. It still struck somewhere deep inside Shouto. He wondered sometimes if Midoriya had figured it out and had started avoiding sleep to avoid him.

He paused at a crosswalk, catching the sight of a storefront with a variety of plants in the window, a florist. Their green leaves winked at him. It reminded him of Midoriya again. Nearly everything green reminded him of Midoriya these days. The teenager lingered in front of the window for a moment, lost in the moment until he suddenly heard his name.

"Todoroki-kun!" Shouto turned, meeting more green. Midoriya walked up to him, hands holding the straps of his booksack. "Good morning!"

"Good morning." He greeted. He hoped Midoriya hadn't noticed how long he had been staring at the plants. That would be embarrassing.

"How was your weekend?" The shorter boy asked. They silently agreed to leave the florist's window and continue on the sidewalk to school.

"Fine. I visited my mother."

"Oh? What'd she have to say?"

"Not much." They had talked about soulmates. His mother was trying to convince him to tell Midoriya about their connection, but it was a losing battle in Shouto's opinion. It was nice to know she cared, despite his stubbornness. "How was your weekend?"

Midoriya grinned. "It was good! My mom and I went to the mall and I got this new All Might hoodie. I think it's pretty cool, it has this shiny texture on it and everything. And we went to the bookstore at the mall and I got some more notebooks. I filled up the last one after the Sports Festival. Oh, and we went to that new mochi place downtown, it was really good. Have you tried it?"

He shook his head. "No. I've never been to a mochi place." As if his father would ever agree to something like that.

Shouto saw him try to hide his surprise, but the shorter boy failed. Midoriya was so obvious in his feelings sometimes. "Well, are you free this afternoon?" The taller boy nodded and he continued. "Do you, maybe, want to go with me?"

"To the mochi shop?" Shouto glanced at him.

Midoriya blushed. "Yeah! I mean, only if you want to! You don't have to if you don't want to, I won't force you, obviously! I just thought maybe you would wan-"

Shouto interrupted before he could revoke the invitation. "I'd love to go with you, Midoriya. Where should we meet up after class?"

They made a quick plan and parted as they entered the classroom. He was sure everyone he passed on the way to the back of the class had heard his heart trying to beat out of his chest.

The mochi store was pastel themed. The walls were a pale mint and the counters were all white with light pink accents. The cashier was a young woman with dragonfly wings who smiled at them when they walked in. The chimes of the doorbell still echoed in the small store when Shouto and Midoriya collected in front of the glass display cases.

"I got the taro last time, but I might just do something simple this time." Midoriya commented, leaning down to get a better look.

"I'm not sure which one I'd like." Shouto admitted. The glass case was filled with sweets of every color and shape. The shorter boy glanced at him, then back at the display.

"I don't know, I think you'd like the green tea ones. You like green tea, right?"

"I like green." Shouto nodded absentmindedly. Midoriya glanced at him, waiting for him to finish."Green tea. I meant."

"Oh look at this one!" The green-haired teenager pointed at one that was white and powdered on the outside, but the inside was filled with a strawberry. One was cut in half to display the filling. "This one looks like your hair!"

"It does." Shouto agreed. "I guess I'll try that one." The other boy grinned and ordered his own. The cashier collected their orders and he insisted on paying with his father's credit card.

Midoriya argued with him for a minute, but eventually gave up and let him pay. Shouto would never pass up an opportunity to spend his father's money on his friends. It was another small act of rebellion he could have.

They sat together at a table in the corner of the shop. It was early afternoon so most people were likely at school or work still, which left them alone. Midoriya tore into his quickly, but kept his eyes on Shouto while he ate. The other teenager was apprehensive, slowing opening up the paper bag and tearing the thin wrapping. The little ball was powdery and heavier than Shouto thought it would be. The powder turned his fingers white.

He took a bite after inspecting it for a minute and he noticed Midoriya pause and watch him. It was chewy and not exactly sweet, but not sour either.

"So?" The green-haired teenager asked, a smile lingering on his face as he awaited his reaction.

"It's very...thick." He said.

"Do you like it?"

"I think so."

Midoriya laughed. "You don't have to keep eating it if you don't like it."

"I do like it." Shouto argued. He took another bite to prove his point and the other boy just smiled.

"This is my stop." Midoriya said as they neared a row of three tall apartment complexes. They had walked home, since the wait for the train would be just as long as walking. Shouto had said he didn't mind the extra time with him. He never minded extra time with him.

"Okay. Goodbye then." Shouto didn't feel like saying goodbye to the other boy yet, but there weren't any other excuses he could make up to keep his company anymore. They had already made a few detours on the way home, a playground Midoriya had played on as a child and a small hero merch store.

"I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay then, bye!" Midoriya pulled on the straps of his booksack as he turned. Shouto watched his green curls bounce as he walked away.

"Midoriya." The green-haired teenager hadn't gotten very far before he called out his name again. His eyes glanced at the sidewalk rather than at the other boy. "Thank you."

He blinked, obviously puzzled. "But you paid for the mochi."

"Yes, well-" Shouto hesitated. He never had trouble talking to people like this. He never doubted himself like this with other people. It had been happening more and more recently, the rethinking of everything he did in the other teenager's presence. Midoriya waited patiently for him to gather his thoughts. "Thank you, for even offering to bring me. Most other people, they- they're not as thoughtful as you." He finally got out.

The shorter teenager's face turned pink and he shrugged. "I-Well, I- I'm not really that thoughtful. I just want you to have fun, to be able to do things that you've never been able to do before." Of course he would say something like that. Midoriya had no idea how perfect he really was.

Shouto was silent. Midoriya's crooked fingers fiddled with his booksack strap nervously. He did that a lot.

Before Shouto could think of anything else to say, something to get across how much Midoriya really did mean to him, the green-haired teenager hugged him. Shouto stiffened at the sudden touch. They had hugged before in their dreams, it was both similar and different now.

Their height difference had Midoriya's head at Shouto's neck, his curls brushing his cheek. The taller teenager relaxed barely, his hands going up to hug him back. It was too awkward to be their dreams, but hugging him felt just the same. His thick hair tickling Shouto's skin, his strong arms wrapped around him. He wasn't hugging him as tightly as he had before in the courtyard. This was more apprehensive, like he was testing to see if this was okay.

Before it could get too long, Midoriya broke away. His face had already been pink, but now it was a deep red. Shouto expected him to stutter in embarrassment, but instead Midoriya just looked away and murmured quietly. "Sorry. I don't know why I did that."

Shouto felt like he was on a high. The clouds were puffier than they had been, the colors more vibrant than before. He felt warm and cold and hot at all the same time. Surely Midoriya had traded quirks with him, because he could feel some sort of electricity running through him. If he closed his eyes, it might even be green.

"It's okay." Shouto said finally. He needed to do something with his hands. He didn't trust them to not reach out to grab Midoriya's hand.

The shorter teenager looked at him in surprise. His eyes were glittery, Golden sparks alongside the deep greens. Shouto couldn't help the smile on his face. He couldn't even force himself to mute it. "It was good." He added.

Midoriya stared at him. A thousand emotions flickered through his eyes, wide as he nodded slowly. Shouto eventually got his own face under control, schooling his smile into something smaller. Midoriya still looked shocked, swallowing and backing away barely.

"I- I've- I-I have t-to go! Bye!" His soulmate nearly bolted, turning on his heel and running into the building in one swift moment.

Shouto lingered on the sidewalk, watching the building. Midoriya had seemed really shaken up. His smile left his face finally, a frown replacing it. He hoped he hadn't messed things up worse now.

The teenager finally turned and left, his thoughts buzzing around in his head as he walked home.

 **Sorry if the mochi part is kind of confusing or inaccurate. I've never actually had mochi so I don't know what it tastes like or any flavors or anything about it, that was all from google.**

 **I was like, what's a good Japanese thing they can do together? This thing you've heard vaguely about but don't understand? Yes.**

 **What'd you guys think about their "date"? Why did Midoriya act so weird at the end?**


	9. time’s passing us by (what do you know)

**Things should be picking up now! I kind of went a little differently than canon with this arc and it's pretty broken up, I hope it reads well.**

 **Also, side note, but I just watched the Two Heroes movie! It was great! I couldn't help but notice how Shouto kept referring to everyone as "Midoriya and the others" and how excited Izuku was when Shouto used his left side. I love them so much, I can't wait to watch it again when the dub comes out. Anyway, here you go!**

Shouto was exhausted.

Not only had he spent the last few weeks of school cramming and training for exams, he had been pretty much forced on this summer training camp. He had just trekked through the forest to find their stupid camp. He was covered in dirt and sweat, his uniform was torn, he wasn't the happiest, dare he say, camper.

After their challenging exams, the teenager had hoped he could get a break, maybe spend their summer break sleeping in late and sneaking out of his house to go places with Midoriya and their friends. Of course, Yuuei had other plans. At least his father had been not as annoying lately.

He was busier with work since All Might had begun teaching and had spent more time away from home. Although, his father never was very involved with anything at home other than training. He hadn't even noticed how he was coming home later and later now, going to various places here and there with Midoriya after school.

They didn't have to worry about cooking dinner tonight, thankfully. He followed behind his class as they trudged toward the house, the Pussycats and Aiwaza leading the way. Shouto hoped some of his class knew how to cook. He was an expert at preparing soba, but he had a tendency to burn anything else he attempted to make.

"Todoroki-kun!" He paused at the sound of his soulmate's voice. Shouto glanced back to see the green-haired teenager. His hair was messier than usual and his uniform rumpled and stained. A twig with a leaf cling to one of his curls. "Want to sit together at dinner?" Midoriya asked, a smile lingering on his lips. He fell into step beside him.

"Sure." He answered simply. He reached up and grabbed the twig from his hair, untangling it gently and offered it back to Midoriya.

His soulmate blushed. "Oh, thanks."

After that they walked in silence together. Shouto noticed Uraraka walking further away from them with Iida and Asui. Her brown eyes flickered over to them and they stared at each other for a moment. He expected her to come walk beside them, but she didn't.

Shouto wasn't sure if he was imagining it or not, but it seemed that their other friends had seemed more absent lately. It wasn't that they would walk away if Shouto walked up, but if they noticed Midoriya and him together already, they'd seem less likely to join them. He had caught them staring at them a few times already. He wasn't sure why that was, whether they were being polite or if it was some unspoken social rule Shouto had missed due to his less than normal childhood. He wondered if they had realized something he hadn't.

He had also noticed how Midoriya seemed to be inviting him to even more places outside of school recently. They would go to his favorite hero stores, the mall and even Midoriya's apartment. He didn't mind it. He enjoyed Midoriya's company, of course he did. He liked going places with him, hearing him talk about anything and everything that came to mind.

He liked seeing his fanboyish side come out, chattering about the latest stats and battles. He liked the quiet moments, the train rides home and the walks through the peaceful parks, so similar to their courtyard. The moments when Shouto felt like he could just reach out and grab his soulmate's hand, intertwine their fingers, if only he was brave enough.

He liked Midoriya. He liked everything about him.

"You know, with how many boys we have in our class, we really should've gotten a bigger room." Midoriya commented, laying out his blankets. The boys of Class 1-A had been shoved together in one room, not leaving much space for them to spread out.

Shouto's futon was tucked in a corner, while Midoriya had set up his beside him. His heart only skipped a few times when he realized how close he would be sleeping to his soulmate. He wondered if it would affect their dreams.

Iida was on the other side of Midoriya, but as they got closer to middle of the room, the pillows and blankets became harder to distinguish between certain classmates. Shouto wasn't sure if that neon yellow blanket was Kaminari's or Aoyama's.

"You're right." Shouto added intelligently. Midoriya became satisfied with his futon arrangement and laid down. He was spread out, his hand was very close to Shouto's.

His eyes flickered over to Shouto, then to where he was staring at his hand. "Is this okay, Todoroki-kun?"

"Yes."

Midoriya nodded, a soft smile lighting up his face. "You can go to sleep, you know, you look really tired. I doubt anyone else will be up for too much longer and we've got a whole week of training ahead of us!"

Bakagou screamed something at Kaminari about invading his space in the background. Shouto glanced over at his classmates, then back to Midoriya. His soulmate smiled at him. "Okay. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, I hope you sleep well!"

He did not sleep well. It seemed that even sleeping beside his soulmate didn't guarantee a night in their courtyard.

Shouto jerked awake, the burns still hot on his skin. Thankfully he hadn't activated his quirk very much in his sleep. The only evidence of it was a thin coat of frost on his right arm.

The room was dark and quiet, with only his classmates' snores disrupted the silence. He recognized Iida's from the hospital, as well as Midoriya's, soft and gentle.

Shouto managed to get his breathing to sound more normal and not like he had just ran a marathon. The shadows stopped looking familiar as he rolled over, only to suddenly be met with Midoriya's sleeping face only centimeters from his own. Their noses were so close, Shouto was scared he'd move and accidentally touch him.

He froze, almost literally.

In his sleep, the green-haired boy had shifted closer to him, now lying on the floor between their futons. Midoriya didn't seem bother by it in the slightest. He looked peaceful, relaxed.

The moon illuminated his freckles. His eyelashes looked black, rather than green, dark against his freckled cheeks. He was drooling a little, which should have been gross, but it seemed enduring to Shouto.

When Shouto breathed, his eyelashes fluttered softly.

He remembered their night in the hospital. The night when everything had changed again. Shouto forced himself to roll over, ignoring Midoriya. He would love to stare at his beautiful soulmate more, but he had already been caught watching his sleep once, he couldn't allow to be caught again.

He hoped Midoriya wasn't lonely in their courtyard right now.

The next few days were exhausting as well. They spent all day doing quirk training, then they had to cook dinner for themselves at night. Shouto wasn't as bad as a cook as he had assumed he would be. Ashido, Kaminari, and surprisingly Momo took the prize for that. Being rich apparently didn't leave much opportunity for her to practice.

He was happy that his left side was helpful in lighting the fires, making him somewhat useful in the kitchen. Midoriya beamed the first time he noticed Shouto light one.

The third night there was the first time he finally had a soulmate dream. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, a night spent listening to Midoriya talk about nothing, his hand firmly clasped in his.

He awoke to find his hand still holding Midoriya's.

Shouto had just stared, dumbfounded for a moment. It was such a simple thing, a small display of affection they had done hundreds of times already. It was strange to see it occur when they were awake though. He wanted to hold on longer, but he jerked it away when his soulmate began to stir.

That night, Aiwaza announced their 'test of courage'.

"Oh, that sounds fun!" Uraraka chirped, walking beside Midoriya. "I wonder how Mr. Aiwaza is going to pair us up."

"I hope I don't get put with Bakugou." Shouto commented. They still had to eat dinner, then they would regroup at the forest and Aiwaza would assign their partners.

The two shorter teenagers laughed at him.

Dinner went smoothly. After a few days they had managed to get a system of who could cook and who couldn't, then they assigned appropriate tasks and eventually put together a decent meal. Shouto had been named the official fire lighter after Bakugou had exploded an entire oven yesterday and been put on permanent cutting duty.

Midoriya sat beside him, chatting with Iida about his theories about how to scare their classmates and use their quirks to their advantages. Shouto watched his hand gestures while he talked. He suddenly remembered that morning when he had woken up holding that hand. He thought of his dream, then his journal. He hadn't written this one down.

The teenager decided that he would have plenty of time to go write it down quickly before he had to report to the forest for their challenge. He stood from the table, catching his friends' attention. They each gave him puzzled looks.

"I'll be back."

Shouto left before they could respond, walking through the halls that led to the room the Class 1-A boys were staying in. His belongings were tucked in the corner, Midoriya's yellow booksack not far from his own. He kneeled by his bag and fished out the notebook, then flipped to the page with a calendar of the month neatly drawn.

He set aside and found a pen, then crossed out that day. Shouto shut the notebook, then paused. After a moment of thought, he opened it up again and scribbled in bottom of the square.

'We were still holding hands when I woke up.'

"Todoroki-kun?" Shouto jerked up, slamming the notebook shut at the sight of his soulmate standing in the doorway. Midoriya smiled. "They just called us to meet at the woods, I wasn't sure if you heard."

"Oh. Thanks."

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

Midoriya looked concerned, but he nodded. There was a look in his eyes that told Shouto he would ask about it later. He never got the chance.

His wishes were not granted and Shouto was paired with Bakugou. They walked in the dark together, awaiting whatever Class 1-B had in store for them. Every shadow in the trees looked vaguely familiar, but he forced himself to remain unnerved in Bakugou's presence.

A sharp beeping interrupted the silence of the forest. Shouto glanced over at Bakugou, hoping he had heard that, too. The blond was smacking the inside of his wrist, practically growling at it.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to get this damn watch to shut up." Bakagou said. "It's been going off a lot lately, but I can't figure out why. Fucking shut up!" He screamed it.

Shouto raised an eyebrow. "Maybe it's because you're getting close to meeting your soulmate." Countdown clocks like that were common. They even had two in their class, Bakugou and Kirishima.

"It says I've only got two hours."

"Two hours? How is that right?" Shouto wondered if they would even be done with their test of courage in two hours.

"I don't know! This whole exercise shit is fucking stupid." The spiky haired teenager hissed.

"It's a good exercise." Shouto said, purely because he wanted to disagree with him. His watch finally stopped beeping.

"You sound like that fucking nerd." Bakagou snarled, dropping his wrist to his side again.

"Midoriya?"

"Who else? You're almost as bad as he is."

Shouto scowled. "What's your problem with Midoriya? He's never been anything but nice to you, yet you still treat him like a piece of shit for absolutely no reason."

"He deserves it, that soulmateless, useless los-"

"He's not soulmateless." Shouto snapped before he could catch himself.

Bakugou scoffed, glancing at him. "Whatever bullshit he's told you about 'dreams' or 'visions' or whatever he's on about now is a lie. No one in their right mind would ever want somebody like Deku."

Shouto stopped walking. He wasn't easily riled up, so why did he want to freeze Bakugou solid right now? Midoriya was so amazing, he wanted to scream at Bakagou about it. He wanted to prove Bakugou wrong, that Midoriya was loved and wanted and so much better than Bakugou would ever be. However, Shouto forced himself to remain silent.

His fists were clinched at his sides. He couldn't understand why Midoriya even gave Bakugou the time of day anymore. He deserved so much better.

"What's your fucking problem, Half and Half?" The blond had stopped too, glaring at him over his shoulder.

"You're even more of an idiot than I had assumed. You might even be blind, too."

"What did you just say to me, you icyhot bastard?!"

"I said you're an idiot." Shouto hissed. He really should shut up, but he didn't.

"I can't understand why you're such an asshole to everyone, especially Midoriya. He's powerful and smart and always so nice to everyone he knows, even people he's barely talked to. Even you. He's an amazing person and his soulmate loves him so much, and the fact that you can't see that makes you an even bigger idiot than I already thought you were." Shouto retorted sharply.

Bakugou was practically steaming. Little explosions popped in his hands. "What the fuck do you mean, his soulmate loves him? He doesn't have a damn soulmate!"

The taller teenager blinked. He had said that? He hadn't even noticed.

Before Shouto could answer, a long blade struck the ground between them. Both boys jumped away, startled. He thought Aiwaza had said Class B wasn't allowed to touch them and he couldn't remember any of their quirks being anything like this.

"Flesh..." A deep voice gasped. It sounded pained. Shouto glanced over to see a man dressed in black restraints, blades were growing out of his mouth like teeth. They were long and sharp, holding him up in the air beside the trees. "Delicious flesh. It's distracting me...I must...the plan-"

"What the fuck?" Bakugou growled. Shouto was thinking something along the same lines, momentarily distracting from his soulmate.

"I must..." The man crept closer, his teeth blades stabbing the ground. Bakugou slid into a fighting position beside him. Only the man's mouth was visible, hooks pulling his lips back to reveal his sharp blades. Drool dripped down his chin.

Another blade tore through the air and Shouto created an ice wall to block it.

"I must...eat." He moaned.

His ice shattered.

"How sad, Todoroki Shouto." The scarred villain smirked. Shouto's throat tightened. He tossed the turquoise marble toward the warp gate. It shattered and Bakugou appeared in it's place.

"Kacchan!" His soulmate screamed. Shouto could barely turn fast enough to see Midoriya, running toward Bakugou. The blond looked as mad as usual, a scowl on his face as he glared at them all.

"Deku-" He growled, then the purple warp gate consumed him. Bakugou and the portal were gone, as quickly as they had appeared.

Midoriya tried to chase after him, but Shouto got to him first. He was barely aware of the other villains, disappearing into their own warp portals.

"Midoriya!" He grabbed the shorter teenager, tugging him backwards to keep him from following the girl with the buns though her portal. She smiled sheepishly, waving goodbye as if this was a family reunion rather than a kidnapping.

They tumbled backwards and fell on the charred grass, Midoriya struggling in his arms. If he used his quirk, perhaps he'd be able to get away, but both of his arms were broken and he was so obviously exhausted. Shouto's hold turned into more of a pitiful hug than a hold to keep someone restrained.

"Let me go. Todoroki, please. Let me go." He gasped, sounding pained. His words didn't hold any emotion. He was barely struggling in his arms. "We can still rescue him, we can still get to him." Midoriya began to cry.

The sounds took hold of Shouto's heart and crushed it. Bakugou didn't deserve this, but Shouto would have flown to the moon and back that minute if it meant getting Bakugou back for Midoriya.

His soulmate gave up his weak fight, settling to fall limply against him. His back was pressed against Shouto's chest. Louder sobs shook them. Shouto relaxed, his arms simply wrapped around him in an attempt to comfort him. Midoriya's head fell back into the crook of his neck and he hid his face against him as he cried. Shouto just held him. He stared a hole in the ground where Bakugou had just been.

A sliver of dark metal rested in the grass.

A few of their classmates still lingered in the clearing, a combined look of shock across all of their faces. Midoriya was sobbing his arms now. He felt his fingers grasp at his hand and Shouto gave in. His left hand left Midoriya's waist and their hands met.

He held on tightly.

Shoji moved first. He stepped forward and picked up the metal piece. He looked at it for a moment, then turned to look at the remaining teenagers.

Shouto could identify it now, a small screen with a thin crack, a digital clock. Bakugou's soulmate watch. Instead of counting down like it had been hours ago, it was counting up.

 _00:00:00:07_

 _00:00:00:08_

 _00:00:00:09_

 **Shouto standing up to Bakugou for Midoriya is my weakness, don't @ me.**

 **I hope that was good! I'm pretty happy with how that played out. The whole watch thing will be explained some more next chapter! I hope you enjoyed it!**


	10. promise me (you won’t be next)

**Last update until I leave for vacation! Hope you enjoy!**

Shouto was not a stranger to hospitals.

He had practically lived a month of his life in one when he had been given his scar. His father had insisted anyone with a healing quirk anywhere near Japan to come fix his damaged creation. None of them could.

He visited the mental hospital that held his mother regularly. He would wait in their waiting room when she was busy or if she was in treatments. The receptionists and a few of the nurses there knew him by name now.

There had been the time in middle school when Natsuo had broken his arm and they had all visited him then. Rarely, his father got hurt during work and Fuyumi would usually make him visit him too.

He had stayed in one in Hosu and plenty of times as a child when his father went too far and Fuyumi would insist he needed medical attention. Any doctors working the emergency rooms those nights always got payed a little extra to pretend that Endeavor's son hadn't showed up with too many burns and bruises for a 'kitchen accident'.

This hospital visit, however, was incredibly different than all of the previous ones. He wasn't here for himself, nor his mother or any member of his family. He was scared for someone else's life. Shouto wondered offhandedly how many people had died in this white walls.

How many soulmates had been split, their bonds severed so unceremoniously?

The doctors said he would be okay eventually. They said he would heal, but that didn't stop the fear flowing through him, thick and suffocating. He didn't think he'd be okay until he saw his soulmate with his own eyes, truly saw him alive. Doctors could lie just like the rest of them.

Another thought poked and prodded at him as he waited. What would he have done if Midoriya has died tonight, unaware of his soulmate right beside him? What if he died, thinking he was all alone?

Most of their class was still sitting in the waiting room. A few of them had gone home, but an overwhelmingly majority still sat there.

Midoriya's injuries had been the worse, his soulmate had been in surgery for a few hours now. Most the others who had been hurt had already woken up and been healed by quirks. Momo had been the most recent one, the remainder of the class shuffling in her room to express their excitement that she was okay. They didn't seem all that excited, despite their words.

How could they be, when there was still a ghost lingering in the waiting room?

Everything was quiet, beside the ticking of the analog clock. It was past midnight. Kaminari and Sero hadn't cracked a joke yet. Iida hadn't assured everyone that it was going to be okay. Most of them just stared at the floor, a few of them played on their phones until they died, but it was obvious everyone seemed to be mourning.

Shouto felt like he was watching a funeral through someone else's eyes. It didn't seem real. It didn't seem like it had happened to him, to them. Stolen and injured right under their noses.

Despite all of them, despite Bakugou's absence, Midoriya was still, stubbornly, the only thing on his mind. He was worried about him, he had been worrying about him for the last several hours. He had passed out in his arms after crying enough that he probably dehydrated himself along with all his shattered bones. It was unlikely he would be out of surgery, much less wake up, anytime soon.

Shouto knew he wouldn't, couldn't, leave until he saw him. His father could walk through those doors right now and command he come home, but he wouldn't. Not until he knew his soulmate would be okay.

At least he had it better than Kirishima and Bakugou, he knew where Midoriya was. He knew his soulmate was going to make it out alive.

The ticking of the clock mocked them.

"Todoroki, can we talk?"

Shouto looked up from a particularly interesting floor tile to see Kirishima standing beside his lonely chair. The rest of the class had collected in the center of the waiting room, sitting together, some of them hugging or touching in support, but Shouto had secluded himself in a corner away from them and they all knew better than to bother him. Even Uraraka and Iida hadn't said a word to him.

He didn't feel like talking to anyone about anything, but Kirishima had a strangely serious look on his face so Shouto just nodded and allowed the redhead to lead him away.

They stopped in a fairly empty hallway. Their only company was a doctor or nurse every once in while who walked past them without a glance. Shouto waited for Kirishima to say something, but for once his classmate looked lost for words.

He finally dug his hand in his pocket and held out two small pieces of metal. Two identical soulmate clocks, each made of the same dark stainless steel and counting up in unison. The only difference was that one had a single thin crack through the glass between the seconds and hours.

"We're soulmates." Kirishima announced, offering both clocks to Shouto. He took them and flipped them over in his fingers, barely processing each one's scratches and dents. Watching through someone else's eyes. "Bakugou and I."

Shouto gave them back to Kirishima and he pocketed one, but held onto the cracked one. "Congratulations." The taller teenager said finally.

"I'm going after him." The redhead blurted out. Shouto blinked at him and Kirishima continued. "I don't know if you'll agree, or understand, but I have to go after him. He's my soulmate! I hate this. I hate just sitting here and waiting for some pro to show up and tell me he's dead. They made me just sit there before, I couldn't even go and fight. They just made me sit there, while my watch fell off." He growled out the last part, holding onto the clock tightly. Someone must have recognized it's similarities and given it to him. Shouto wondered who had been the one forced to deliver that news.

Kirishima spoke again, shaken by his own imagination. "I can't just wait around anymore, I have to find him, I have to find out wha- what's happened to him, or else I'm going to go... I'll go insane. Yaoyorozu created a tracker and she has the League's location, so I'm going after him, she might be coming too, I don't know yet." He fell silent as a nurse with a clipboard walked past them.

"If you were soulmates, then why did it take so long for your watches to fall off?" Shouto asked eventually.

Kirishima brushed a finger over the crack, the seconds steadily growing. "There's different types of soulmate watches, usually they count down to the moment you meet or talk for the first time. Those are the most common ones, the ones you always hear about. You can tell what kind you have from the metal they're made of, usually. Mine, ours, it counts down to when one of us is scared they might die." He frowned, then added firmly. "It doesn't mean he's dead."

But it could, Shouto finished silently.

"Why are you telling me all this?" Sure, he was honored that Kirishima thought he was someone to trust with this information but it didn't make sense. Shouto understood maybe one of his friends, Kaminari or Ashido, maybe even Iida, since he was the class president, but him?

"When he wakes up, I'm going to ask Midoriya to come with us." That made more sense.

Kirishima finally put away Bakugou's watch and looked Shouto in the eyes.

"I'm not to pretend to understand what's going on with you and Midoriya, I don't know what's the deal between you two or your soulmates or whatever and you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to. But I know he's really important to you, and you're important to him, too. You guys look at each as if you are each other's soulmates. He's going to come with us, I know he will, you know he will, too, so I figured you would want to come with us. Plus we're gonna have to fight some villains, I figured you'd be a good addition." Shouto fell silent. Another nurse walked past them while he debated his words.

Hospitals always smelled the same, antiseptic and chemicals and death.

"I'm not doing this for Bakugou. I honestly don't care about him, but... You're right, I do care about Midoriya. I'll go if he does." Shouto answered. Kirishima gave him a strained smile.

"Thank you."

"Oh, Todoroki-kun. Your hair is showing." His soulmate ducked down to where he was sitting on the bench and started to fix the black wig.

Shouto couldn't breathe for a moment. He was so close to him. He counted the freckles on his cheeks to keep his body temperature down. "There you go." Midoriya moved away and sat beside him.

"Thanks." Momo and Kirishima has gathered around Iida to help paste on his mustache. The two watched them for a moment before Midoriya took a deep breath beside him.

"Thank you, for coming. I know you don't like Kacchan very much, but I-" The green-haired teenager paused. He continued in a whisper, looking down at his arms. White bandages were visible underneath his sleeves. "I appreciate you coming."

Shouto wanted to tell him his real reasons for coming. He wanted to tell him that he was only here because he didn't want to be in Kirishima's place, afraid his soulmate might be dead. He didn't ever want to feel like that. Sure, the redhead was laughing now at Iida, struggling with his disguise, but the stress was obvious in the other teenager.

Kirishima was terrified.

"You're welcome. I don't want anything to happen to anyone, so I figured it would be best to come, too." Shouto said instead.

Midoriya smiled, glancing at him shyly. It felt like another dream, where they were safe and peaceful on a bench together in a misty courtyard. This wasn't a dream, he reminded himself.

"I actually- I wanted to talk to you. About something..." Midoriya admitted quietly, looking away. He played with his fingers in his lap.

"What?" Shouto frowned. He couldn't imagine what it could be about.

"It- It's about your s-"

"Hey!" Kirishima walked over, a sharp, fake smile on face. "You guys ready to go?"

"O-Oh, yeah!" Midoriya jumped up and Shouto followed behind.

They left the store, the street filled with chatter. Shouto fell into step beside his soulmate. "Midoriya, what did you want to talk about?"

His soulmate shook his head, pointedly looking away again.

"It's not important..."

Shouto thought he had faced villains. He had defeated the Hero Killer, those members of the League at USJ. He fought the League at the summer camp. He fought his father every night.

All for One, that had been what Midoriya had murmured beside him, going stiff against his side. His hand was gripped tightly in the other boy's, pressed against him in some version of support, or maybe he was seeking it. He wasn't sure when he had grabbed his hand, but it had been a long time ago, or maybe time was just passing too quickly.

Shouto couldn't move. He could barely even process how close his soulmate was to him. He was too scared to actually tremble in fear, he felt Midoriya solid against him. He thought he had faced villains before, but he had been wrong. None of those people had really been villains, none of them even compared to All for One.

The villain spoke, a cool, deep voice that was nothing like anything he had heard. He didn't seemed concerned with the pros that he had just fought. Of course he wasn't, he had just defeated them all in seconds. His voice struck some deep fear in him, different than his father's growls or the crazy sentences that had flowed from the Hero Killer's mouth. Ice climbed up his limbs, frost crackling underneath his sleeve.

There were more sounds on the other side of the devastated fence, before a familiar voice broke through the rest. Midoriya squeezed his hand and Kirishima visibly stiffened.

"Kacchan." His soulmate gasped beside him, barely loud enough hear.

The green-haired teenager suddenly stepped forward, and Shouto moved to follow him, he'd follow him anywhere, but a firm grip stopped them both. Shouto turned and glared at Iida, the taller teenager glaring back.

Before anyone else could say anything, a loud voice echoed through the ruined street. "All for One! Give me back my student!"

All Might. All Might was here.

Their group relaxed at the sound of the number one hero. He would save them. Midoriya however seemed even more horrified at the sound of their teacher. He was still clutching Shouto's hand like a lifeline, even after the battle between All Might and All for One began.

"If Todoroki-kun can make a ramp with his ice, then Iida-kun and I can use our quirks to gain speed and fly over the villains and out of the way of All Might and All for One. Kirishima-kun, you're going to have to call out to Kacchan, and he'll come to you. Once we're out of there, All Might won't have to worry about us." Midoriya explained his plan rapidly.

A burst of wind violently shook their fence and they all flinched away. "Do you think that's really going to work, Midoriya-kun?" Momo asked, hugging herself. She looked incredibly pale.

"It's all I have. If we don't act quickly, All Might is going to lose or we're going to be discovered, then he's going to have to worry about us on top of Kacchan and the other villains." He said. They all exchanged looks.

"I'm in." His classmates looked at him in surprise. "I trust Midoriya. We came all this way to rescue Bakugou, let's do it."

Iida sighed. "We don't have any other options. I'm in too. But as soon as we have him, we are leaving!"

Kirishima was the last part of the plan, they glanced at him. The redhead looked nervous, watching the ground. His eyes flickered up to lock onto Midoriya. "Do you really think he'll come to me?"

He nodded. "You're his soulmate, you know he knows it too. He'll come."

Kirishima was silent for a moment before he nodded, determined. "Okay. Let's do this."

They spread out to their positions, Momo peered through a thin crack in the fence boards. Iida and Midoriya stood behind her, waiting for her signal, Kirishima in front of them.

"He's running from one of them now. If he gets ahead, then that'll be our chance. He'll be separated from the rest of them." She decided, looking back to them. Kirishima somehow seemed more shaken by her words.

"Todoroki-kun." Shouto glanced away, surprise to see his soulmate suddenly by his side. "No matter what happens, please promise me you'll run away after this, back to the main streets or something." The green-haired teenager commanded quietly.

He blinked. "What?"

Midoriya frowned, glancing at the broken concrete ground. He sighed, a painful exhale. "Please. I can't let anything happen to you."

"I'm not going to leave you." Shouto argued.

His soulmate grabbed his hand, definitely not an accident this time. Midoriya stared him down with a determined, yet equally desperate expression. He had never seen him look like that before. "Todoroki-kun, please."

"You guys!" Momo called. "He's isolated now!"

"I'll call you, when we're both out." He answered. His tone was obvious. If his plan failed, Shouto would be the first one over that fence.

His soulmate looked like he wanted to argue more, but they didn't have the time. Shouto let him go and Midoriya nodded apprehensively. They returned to their places, the green-haired teenager grabbed onto Kirishima alongside Iida.

Green electricity crackled around them and Shouto turned and leaned down, pressing his hand to the cracked cement. An ice spike grew from the ground, stretching upward in seconds. He let out a frosty breath as they ran past him, the wind tossed his hair.

He watched as they climbed, the blue exhaust fire from Iida's engines, Kirishima's fire colored hair. More than anything, however, he saw his soulmate, glowing green.

"Todoroki-kun, we've got to go. They're going to investigate where this ice came from." Momo said beside him, head tilted toward the sky. Shouto didn't say anything.

"Come on!" He heard Kirishima scream desperately, high above their heads.

Explosions burst into the night sky and Shouto finally nodded. "Let's go."

"You're next."

The crowd erupted at All Might's final words, exploding in a deafening cheer. Shouto felt like he couldn't breathe, with the noise and the people and the adrenaline. The pressure.

His body buzzed.

The sickly, skinny version of the former number one hero pointed to the camera, blood dripping down his sunken eyes. Shouto couldn't tear his eyes from the screen. There wasn't enough air in his lungs.

Despite the overwhelming noise, he could clearly hear the sounds of his soulmate sobbing beside him, wiping desperately at his face.

Those words seemed to mean something more to Midoriya. He didn't understand what, but he wasn't the only who noticed. Bakugou glared down Midoriya on his other side, seeming more frustrated than actually angry. Kirishima was holding his hand, smiling proudly at the screen. His eyes sparkled, reunited with his soulmate.

Shouto locked eyes with the spiky blond, the screaming of the people around them drowning out anything he could have said.

Bakagou stared him down with crimson colored eyes, a thousand cheers surrounding him.

 **How I imagine Kirishima and Shouto's conversation going:**

 **Shouto: I could not care less about rescuing Bakagou.**

 **Kirishima: Midoriya is coming.**

 **Shouto: I suddenly care very much about rescuing Bakugou.**

 **I had a lot of people asking about Bakugou's soulmate/soulmate watch, so I hope that satisfied you guys! My idea** **was that this was the first time Bakagou was actually scared he was going to die. He was overly confident at USJ, and Kirishima was with him then, too, so he wasn't worried at USJ either. Thanks for reading!**


	11. don’t let me go (i’m so sorry)

**I'm so sorry for the long wait! I had a little bit of a writer's block, then I was busy with school so it took me a little while before I could sit down and type this one out. It's** **not incredibly exciting. Sorry again, and thank you for being patient!**

There was a soft knock at his door, accompanied by a nervous voice. "Shouto?"

He glanced up from his boxes with a jolt before he forced himself to relax. It was just Fuyumi. She was the only other one even home. The old man had been drowning in work since his promotion, so he had been even more absent lately. How fitting.

"You can come in." He answered, returning to his things before the door even opened.

His sister stepped in and paused in the doorway, surveying the room. Nearly everything had already been packed up by now, as he was leaving for Yuuei this afternoon. They would have two days to move in and get accustomed in the dorms before class started up again. Not that there was much for him move anyway.

Shouto had never had many things in his room. Most of his possessions could be sorting into just a few boxes, some clothes and a few photos of his mother and his siblings, but not much else. He knew better than to get attached to any he owned, because his father never hesitated to destroy something he loved.

The teenager could still remember an All Might figure he had gotten as a child from some distant family member for some birthday or another. He had been so excited when he opened it up in the mail, but it had been brutally melted the minute his father had gotten home that day. He stopped enjoying things after that.

There was nothing that showed anyone had ever even lived in this room, much less for fifteen years.

"Oh, well, I was going to offer to help you pack up, but it looks like you don't need my help." His sister sat beside a box, peeking inside. It was just clothes, so she shut it without another word.

"Thanks for the offer." He shrugged, packing a few extra notebooks into his book sack.

Shouto saw her watching him from the corner of his eye. He'd miss her, he realized suddenly. Even with that, he still didn't know what to say. He knew she didn't either. His sister still looked at him like a stranger, like he was an animal she should be cautious and careful with. He didn't blame her. Even after all these years, living under this same roof together, they really were just strangers.

Fuyumi finally sighed heavily, looking nervous as she spoke again. "Are you...okay? With all of this, moving out and stuff?" She asked, looking concerned. Out of them all, she looked the most like their mother. Maybe that's why she fell into that role so easily.

Shouto paused, then he zipped up his bag. "I'm sure the old man isn't. He'd probably pitch a fit if he wasn't so busy right now." He finally said. He pushed the bag toward a stack of boxes.

"I'm not asking about Father, I'm asking about you." Fuyumi argued gently. She glanced wearily at the boxes before continuing. "I know you've never liked it here, and I'm not judging you for that, it's deserved. You- Out of all of us...you deserve to get out of here the most, out from under his control, and I really hope Yuuei can do that for you, but I'm still worried about you."

Shouto picked at the strap of his bag, suddenly beside him again. "What are you worried about?"

"You-" She hesitated. "You seem different, Shouto. I don't know if it's because you've been visiting Mom more, or if it's because of school or if I'm just seeing things, but I feel like I need to ask."

He didn't feel very different and he debated about saying that but Fuyumi didn't look like she would buy that answer. "I'm looking forward to moving out. I think a box on the streets would be better than living here. Besides, if I'm gone, you won't have to live here anymore either."

It was no mystery why she hadn't left this hellhole yet. Shouto still felt guilty that she thought she needed to stay here and deal with their father all the time, just because of him. She could be so much happier somewhere else if she just forgot about him.

Fuyumi raised an eyebrow. "You don't have to worry about me. I can take care of myself."

He shrugged. "I know, but you deserve to get out of this hell just as much as I do."

His sister let out a soft, quiet laugh. She noticed a shirt thrown aside and folded it for him. Shouto watched her quietly for another second.

"Is it bad?"

She looked up, her glasses flashing in the early afternoon light. "Hm?"

"You said I'm different. Is it a bad different?"

Fuyumi looked thoughtful as she finished folding the shirt, setting it atop the box beside her. "No. You seem happier, I think. I can't figure out what changed you, though."

Shouto thought of his soulmate but didn't say a word. These walls had ears and he couldn't risk anyone else knowing. His sister smiled nervously and stood up, dusting off her clothes.

"Well, I can help you bring some of this stuff to Yuuei later, if you want me to."

"No, I'll be fine. You should go pack, too." He said. "I don't want to have to come back here to visit you."

Fuyumi smiled. "You still worry about everyone else too much. Think of yourself for a change, Shouto."

The room judging contest was on hold while the girls voted on their favorites, so the remaining class walked back toward the common room to wait for the results. He didn't really care about the contest very much, but he was trying to get better at social situations. Besides, Midoriya was here and he was an incentive for anything.

"Hey, Todoroki-kun!" Shouto paused and waited for Midoriya to catch up to him, having fallen behind in one of the last rooms. The green-haired teenager smiled as they continued behind their class. "Your room was really nice, you know."

"Thanks." Shouto wasn't sure why everyone was so impressed with his room, it wasn't exciting or unique like anyone else's. Everyone else's screamed personality, like no one but them could live there. His room could have belonged to anyone. "I liked yours, too."

He blushed. "Sorry. I know it's a little much, with all the All Might stuff. I'm not really used to anyone but my mom seeing any of that stuff."

"It's not too much."

Midoriya blinked, looking confused. "You don't have to lie, Todoroki-kun. I know it's weird. Kacchan had told me worse before." He laughed weakly. That comment made Shouto want to go offer Bakugou back to the League of Villains, but he kept quiet for Kirishima's sake, walking a few feet in front of them with Sero.

"You shouldn't listen to Bakugou. He's an idiot." Midoriya gave him a real laugh this time and he continued. "But it fits you, all the All Might things. I wouldn't expect anything less. Besides, I think it's cute how much you look up to him."

His soulmate suddenly became quiet and Shouto wondered what exactly that he had said. As he rethought his words, he nearly tripped himself.

He called Midoriya cute.

Or maybe his All Might obsession, but it didn't matter exactly because he just called his soulmate cute, right to his face.

It wasn't like he could even pretend it wasn't what he said because Midoriya had heard him loud and clear, according to the redness of his face. Shouto wondered how quickly he could buy a plane ticket to the other side of the world.

"U-Um. Thanks..."

"You're welcome." Shouto said with a mental smack. He didn't know what else to say, and they remained quiet as they reached the common room, the rest of the class clearly unaware of their predicament.

Thankfully, Midoriya spoke up again. "Hey, Todoroki-kun?"

"Yes?"

"You remember, in Kamino, when I asked if I could talk to you?"

"Yes." Shouto had actually forgotten. He still didn't know what he wanted to talk about, but it must be important if he was still asking about it. Topics ran wild in his head, but none of them seemed quite right.

"Do you think we could talk now?"

Shouto's heart froze. He wasn't ready to talk, but he couldn't just say that, not after he had already asked twice.

Thankfully, Ashido chose that moment to shout at them. "The results are in!" She was standing on the stiff, brand new couch while Iida chopped at her to get down. The other girls had collected beside her.

Shouto didn't dare to look at his soulmate, pretending to be fully invested in whatever Ashido was saying. His thoughts ran wild and he was thankful he had learned how to keep his expression calm years ago.

Neither of them talked while Ashido continued, but after a few minutes Midoriya suddenly grabbed his hand.

He flinched with the sudden touch, but Midoriya was comforting in that way soulmates were and he relaxed with the familiar feeling of him. Shouto finally looked over at his soulmate and the green-haired teenager looked determined as he mouthed something, careful to not draw attention.

Shouto felt like they were the only ones in the room as he watched his silent word.

Tomorrow.

At some point after three am, Shouto fell into a restless, dreamless sleep. He didn't roll awake until after ten and while he stared lazily at his clock, he wondered how he managed to sleep that late in the first place. Usually his father would have already busted in, demanding he begin his training for the day.

Suddenly, he realized that his father wasn't here, and he would never have to wake up early for training again. He smiled at the thought.

Shouto got dressed slowly, the noises of his classmates echoed down the halls outside his room. He finally decided to venture out of his dorm somewhere around eleven, wandering downstairs to the kitchen where most of his class had already collected. They stayed out of his way as he shuffled around the kitchen, making himself a cup of tea. Someone, he assumed Satou, had cooked pancakes earlier, so Shouto stole one of those, too.

He found a table in a corner by a window and sat there without a word to anyone. His classmates had seemingly already found their places in the dorm life.

A few of them had collected in front of the TV for a few rounds of some video game Shouto didn't recognized. Apparently Kaminari had brought the console from home and was now fighting over one of the controllers with his soulmate. Kirishima had somehow gotten Bakugou to sit beside him on the couch. The blond pretending to be invested in his phone rather than the game, but Shouto watched him sneak glances at the screen, then scream insults at the others when his soulmate won.

It was nice to watch them. They fit in so easily, from the video games to the laughter and conversations. It was as if they had already lived together for years. Shouto didn't understand how they did it. It seemed so easy for them.

Halfway through his tea, someone finally disturbed his quiet corner. "Good morning, Todoroki-kun." Midoriya sat beside him, smiling gently. "Or I guess it should be good afternoon. I didn't know you were a late sleeper."

"I'm usually not. Sorry."

The green-haired boy waved his hand. "Oh, it's fine. I just wouldn't think of you as a late sleeper. But of course, that's fine! It doesn't matter, you know. Everyone's got their own preferences."

Shouto watched him ramble while he sipped on his tea. It was cute when he used his hands while he talked, waving around and smiling nervously. It made him smile, too. This wonderful boy was his soulmate. That never really seemed to sink in.

"Well," Midoriya grabbed his attention again. "I was wondering if we could talk now."

"Talk. Now." Shouto echoed, stress flooding back in an instant. The peaceful morning was shattered and he stared blankly at his soulmate, trying to smother some of that dread before it broke through.

"Yeah, I'd prefer if it was somewhere privater." He glanced around at their roommates, Ashido currently wrestling with Kaminari on the couch while Kirishima and Sero cheered them on. "Maybe one of our rooms."

"Right." He agreed numbly. He stared at their classmate, not processing a thing they did, before he suddenly spoke again. "We can go to my room."

Midoriya looked surprised, but nodded. "Oka-"

"Go ahead, I'll meet you there. I have to put up my dishes anyway." He said, standing up quickly while Midoriya watched him from the deserted table.

"Um, okay..." The green-haired teenager murmured, glancing at him one last time before getting up and walking toward the elevators. Shouto remained tense, even after he heard the elevator's doors shut.

The walk to his room felt both too long and too short. He could barely get himself in the elevator, staring blankly at the doors. That other person was back, the one that took control of his body and made him just watch.

The floors passed by too fast. Up and up, everything was moving too fast. He needed a minute. He needed a break before he had to face Midoriya.

He imagined a variety of things his soulmate would say. Maybe he'd tell him that he knew, that he hated him or that he was done waiting around. Maybe he would say that he figured it out and he didn't want anything to with him now that he knew, or that he found someone else he'd rather instead.

His door was cracked when he arrived. Shouto hesitated, but finally forced himself to push it open a second later. He didn't know what he expected. It was just Midoriya.

It was just his soulmate.

The green-haired boy was standing in the middle of his room, a notebook in his hand. It was open, pages fluttering for anyone to read. At first Shouto thought it was one of Midoriya's own, his soulmate seemed to carry at least one those notebooks everywhere he went. But as he looked closer, he realized how wrong he was.

He couldn't move, ice cracking on his skin.

He suddenly felt cold. A breathe of icy air escaped him as he stared at the notebook in Midoriya's hands.

The pale cover, the neat writing. Boxes drawn neatly on each page, a number marking each day in the corners of them all. He suddenly couldn't remember any of the words he had written on those pages. He couldn't remember anything, except the sight of that notebook in his scarred hands and the sound of his world crashing down around him.

Shouto took a step back, he couldn't breathe. He couldn't say anything. His thoughts were moving too fast, everything was happening too fast.

Midoriya suddenly looked up, his bright eyes widened. "T-Todoroki-" Complicated emotions swam in those eyes. Too many.

Too many to handle, too many to understand.

Did his soulmate mutter some apology, or was that him?

Shouto stumbled backwards. Here was the screaming, the tears, the questions. Why did he lie? Why didn't he tell him?

Why did he lie?

"Todoroki, pleas-"

"I'm sorry." He gasped painfully, frost climbing up his skin. He could feel it in his veins. "I'm so sorry."

These blank walls stared down at him. They had eyes. They had ears. They knew it all.

They knew everything.

He twisted around in an instant, dizzy. Midoriya said something, but he couldn't hear him. The pages fluttered again.

Shouto couldn't stay here. He couldn't be suffocated by these walls, those eyes, for any longer. He had to get out. His legs started working for him and he ran.

"Todoroki!"

He heard his notebook crash to the floor. It echoed in his ears while his soulmate called after him.

He needed air.

He need a minute.

He need him to not know.

The pages were torn now.

 **I hope that was okay. Thanks for reading.**


	12. sun in my eyes (and love in my arms)

**The moment we've all been waiting for is finally here!! This is it!**

 **This was really fun to write, I've had this scene invisioned in my head since the first few chapters. I actually wrote most of this the day after I posted the last chapter, but I didn't have any time to really sit down and reread through it to make sure it made sense until now. I really hope you all enjoy it!**

Somehow, Shouto found himself outside. He wasn't sure how far he had ran once he escaped the dorms or where exactly he was now. He wasn't sure how long it had even been since he had heard the terrible sound of those notebook pages crashing to the ground, how long it had been since he heard Midoriya say his name like that. So miserably.

He stopped for a moment, panting in the midday sun. It was uncomfortable, hot on his skin, but it melted the ice from his hand.

The teenager twisted around in a daze, still breathing heavily. His heartbeat pounded in his ears. He had barely taken in any of his surroundings before he tripped on an uneven slab of sidewalk. He cried out as he stumbled, but something caught him before he hit the steaming concrete.

Scarred hands gripped his shoulders, holding him in place for a moment before Shouto forced his gaze away from his chest and into his eyes. He already knew who it was.

Midoriya stared at him with an almost wild expression. He was breathing fast, but nowhere as desperate or unsteady as Shouto. He had followed him. Shouto vaguely recalled hearing his name chasing him, but everything was moving too fast, he wasn't sure what he had imagined and what was real.

He had followed him. Why has he followed him?

"Todoroki-kun..." He breathed, freckles shimmering under the summer sunlight.

He couldn't tell what he was thinking, what swam in those judging eyes. Midoriya was always so expressive, why had he chosen now to be recluse?

Those eyes flickered across his face and Shouto felt naked. What was he looking at? What was wrong with him now? The hands on his shoulders suddenly felt tight, constricting, yet Shouto was frozen in place. Ice creeped underneath his clothes, it's cracking screamed in his ears. It was too loud. Everything was too loud.

For once, it seemed his soulmate was speechless. Always so much to say, yet it failed him when it mattered.

The world was shaking. Midoriya was shaking, something glistening in his eyes. He still stared and everything felt distorted.

He couldn't do anything. He needed to get away. He didn't want to hear anything he had to say, but more than anything, he wanted Midoriya to stop looking at him like that.

Something sizzled on the left side of his face and Shouto choked out. "Say something!" He shouted, harsher than he meant it. He watched his soulmate flinch, surprise making him pull his hands away from him.

He wanted this to be over.

He wanted the rejection now.

He wanted to be alone already.

His soulmate was blurry, while he gasped for air, scrambling away from the green-haired boy. He tripped again and fell onto the grass, Midoriya moved to help him but he scooted away from him until his back pressed against something solid.

Finally, something unknown snapped Midoriya out of his surprise and he was suddenly kneeling beside him. "It's okay. Just breathe." He said gently, too much warmth in his gaze for a day this hot. The heat was blistering. It reminded him of his childhood.

Shouto shook his head slowly, shakily. He realized he was the one shaking, rather than the world around him. It was spinning. "I-I-"

He didn't even know what he wanted to say. Maybe another apology or some sort of explanation, but nothing even came out, so it didn't matter.

"You're safe here." Midoriya murmured, his crooked fingers inched closer to Shouto's balled up fist. He tried to jerk his hand away, but his body wouldn't move. It wasn't listening to him. "You're not alone. Just breathe, Shouto."

It took several more minutes of his soulmate's soft voice beside him and his barely noticeable touch for Shouto to get enough air in his lungs to get the spots to stop dancing in his eyes. Midoriya seemed a little clearer, less like he was going to disappear the moment he closed his eyes. He still could.

He still felt a little breathless when he focused on it, on him, too much. Midoriya seemed a little less suffocating now, and his thoughts weren't screaming anymore. They had just left him. His heartbeat still sped past him, but he wasn't sure he knew any way to fix it.

Midoriya wasn't looking at him anymore, falling silent as well. His hand gently rested on Shouto's left hand. It was always the left.

Shouto pulled it away finally, bringing his knees to his chest and hugging his arms around himself. He focused on deep breaths, imagining Midoriya saying it, even though he had grown quiet minutes ago. Silence was deafening, thumping around in his skull. Finally, he forced himself to speak.

"I-I'm- I'm sorry." He hadn't stuttered like that since he was young. A flash of fire forced his throat to tighten against his will. It felt like a hand around his neck.

The summer sun was suddenly steaming and his ice felt far away. Green eyes glanced at him in a quick movement and Shouto wanted to run away again, but he was surrounded. He swallowed, clinching his fists. He expected the screaming now, the insults and the pain. He could take it now. He could handle it now.

He knew this day was going to come. He always knew this day was going to come.

He didn't expect his soulmate's calm, almost concerned expression to shatter in a instant. Tears finally fell, weaving in between the freckles dusting his face.

"Sorry?" Midoriya asked incredulously. "Why would you be sorry?"

Shouto stared at him. Surely he knew. It was obvious. "I...I lied to you and I let you tell me all those things about the dreams, and I just...I just sat there and listened! I hurt you so- so...so much, you deserve better than me." He gasped a breath, vaguely aware of the blurry world again. His scar burned as something sizzled on the dead, twisted skin.

His soulmate looked hesitant, looking away from him. "I-I already knew." Shouto flinched, looking back at the green-haired boy. Midoriya looked nervous. He sniffed and wiped at his face.

"What?"

Midoriya took a shaky, uneasy deep breath before he continued. "I...I already knew about our connection. I've known for a long time, I think. I knew you were...important, ever since that first day of school. But I just thought it was because you looked like it, like them... I thought I was just seeing things! You had died, years ago. But then, in Hosu, you came back to me." The green-haired teenager sighed miserably, looking away with a sad expression.

"There were other things, since then, but I could always see this...this shadow of you, even before you came back. It was red and white and it sorta glowed. But deep down, I think I always sort of knew it was you. Some kind of unconscious thing, you know?" He turned back toward him and smiled nervously, weakly, tears shining in his eyes.

Shouto stared at him. He couldn't think, he couldn't understand it. He couldn't understand anything. It escaped him.

"Then why are you still here?" He whispered.

Midoriya looked confused. His dark eyelashes fluttered. "What do you mea-"

"If you knew, then why would you stay? Why would you be my friend or pretend or do any of this?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know!" Shouto exclaimed uselessly. He dug his hands into the grass, just to feel something. The dirt was stiff and solid. It was hot.

He sniffed, running his hands through his hair. The messy colors fell in his eyes. "Everyone...everyone else, they never stayed. I don't blame them, I hurt them. I've hurt you. Too. I'm awful... I'm a terrible, awful person and I don't deserve you or anything you've ever done for me. But I don't understand why you still care. Why aren't you like the rest of them?" He muttered. He shut his eyes, buried in his hands.

Midoriya was silent and Shouto almost thought he had left, after all. Instead, calloused fingers suddenly grasped his hand, pulling it away from his scar. He watched in bewilderment as his soulmate softly intertwined their fingers, staring at their joined hands like it was the most important thing in the world.

He glanced back at Midoriya in confusion and he was crying again, soft and sad. "I'm never, ever going to leave you." He said confidently, although his voice cracked halfway through.

"I care about you so much and I'm s-so sorry that you've thought all these things for so long because they're wrong. You're amazing and smart and beautiful and you're the best soulmate I could ever want. I'm still care because you matter to me. You're always going to matter to me! And I'm always going to be here, because I want to be by your side. I want to be with you, as long as I can. I-" He hesitated, looking confused with himself for a moment. Shouto held his breath.

Suddenly Midoriya squeezed his hand and smiled nervously, newfound confidence shining in his eyes as he looked at him. "I love you, Shou...Shouto. You're my soulmate and I feel like I've been falling these last few months without- without this. But I think I realized I'm falling in love."

Shouto stared, speechless. His soulmate just had this way of making everything make sense, a way of piecing together all his broken pieces in just a few sentences. He had done it at the Sports Festival. He had done it again.

He was suddenly aware of everything around them. The softness of the grass they sat on, the afternoon birds and the lazy sunlight. It felt refreshing on his skin.

None of it sounded real, none of this felt real. It was all too good to be true. He need to know if this was real. It all sounded so real. This didn't feel like a dream, but he need something more substantial.

"Can...Can I-" He pulled his hand from his and reached for him. Midoriya gave him a watery laugh and nodded with a soft, sunny smile.

Shouto forced himself to move slowly, worried that something might break if he moved too fast. He cupped his face and they were suddenly only inches apart. His face was warm, tears running over dozens of freckles. Midoriya looked at him with this emotion he couldn't place. He had never seen it before.

"Are you real?" Shouto murmured, a shy, relieved smile finding its way onto his face. His heart was going wild. He couldn't breathe.

Midoriya laughed. "Yes!"

"Are we dreaming?"

"No. I'm real, Shouto. This is... It's real."

His face grew warmer in his hands and he let out a breath he didn't know he had. Shouto leaned forward until their foreheads were pressed together.

His skin felt electric touching his. It felt like pure, untouched sunlight.

"This is real." He repeated. Midoriya grinned, arms finding his waist. A moment later he burrowed his face in his neck and the green-haired boy laughed tearfully, fingers brushing though his multicolored hair. He felt the same as the dreams. He relished in the feeling of his soulmate, here in his arms. The one who said he loved him, that he was important, that he mattered.

There was a gasp in his ear and Shouto didn't pull away. "Look where we are!" Midoriya breathed, wonderfilled.

Shouto twisted around in his arms, suddenly at eye level with a slab of concrete. He was suddenly reminded again that they were sitting on the grass. He stared at their surroundings for the first time. It took too long for it all to make sense. There was a bench behind them, and a large tree with bushy green leaves that stretched toward the sky. The sidewalk curved and twisted away and the grass shined with a summer green.

"Of course we're here." Shouto murmured, eyes flickered over the familiar courtyard.

"I didn't know it was real." Midoriya said with a beautifully wonderstuck look.

He knew, but he remained quiet, busy looking at his soulmate. The green-haired teenager noticed, a smile lingering on his face. "What?"

"Izuku..." He began nervously. Green eyes shined when he heard his name. "I- I love you...too. I never said it, earlier, but I do. I know that's what this is."

He grinned, happy tears suddenly flooding down his face. He hugged him tightly again. Shouto relaxed in his arms, wind tossing his soulmate's curls. The courtyard seemed more peaceful with Izuku in his arms, clear and real and sunny.

 **If you still have any more questions about the story itself that you feel weren't answered, please don't be afraid to comment below! I'd love to answer them and help it all make more sense! I hope that was good, I felt like I did a good job expressing everyone's feelings about the whole situation, but opinions are always appreciated.**

 **The last chapter will just be an epilogue type that sort of wraps everything up, so if you want to know anything else about the characters, connections, etc, now is the time to ask! I hope you enjoyed it, and as always, thank you for reading!**


	13. dreaming of you (i can only imagine)

**I'm so sorry that this took so long! I had to rewrite it a few times until I was satisfied. Billie Eilish's new album murdered my writer's block honestly.**

 **So thank you for your patience, and I hope you enjoy.**

"What about that one?"

"I think it's a bird."

"Really?" He asked doubtfully and his soulmate giggled.

"Of course!" Izuku took his left hand and used his finger to trace the sky. A glowing flame illuminated the sky. "See, those are the wings..."

Shouto hummed, the grass crinkled in his ear as he tilted his head. "I still don't see it, 'Zuku."

"What is it then?" His soulmate asked. He stole his hand back.

"I think it's just a cloud."

Izuku laughed, beaming beautifully. "Of course you'd say that."

Shouto glanced over to where he laid beside him. His soulmate's eyes glowed, grinning at the sky. A few blades of grass had made a home in his hair, blending into the green curls.

Izuku's laughter faded as he noticed his gaze. "What?"

Shouto smiled shyly at him. "Nothing really. I just love you."

His freckles hid behind a blush. "You're so sappy." His soulmate said, shifting closer to him. Shouto took the opportunity and pressed a kiss to his pink nose. "Shouto!" Izuku exclaimed.

"Hm?" Shouto hummed smugly. He shifted onto his side. His shirt probably had grass stains, but he couldn't find it in himself to care.

"We're in public."

"You act like we're not the only ones who ever come here." The green-haired boy shrugged awkwardly, cheeks still sunset pink.

"I'm surprised no one has found us yet." Izuku said a moment later.

"I used to eat lunch here, at the beginning of the year, but I've never seen anyone else here. Except you." Shouto admitted.

His soulmate looked thoughtful. "Weird, I wonder if it maybe has to do with our connection. Or maybe it's easier for us to find because something in our subconscious is always looking for it all the time. The same way we're always looking for each other, you know?" Izuku contemplated. His emerald eyes flickered over to him.

Shouto was silent under his gaze. "Maybe..." He finally said.

He didn't say anything exciting, but Izuku's eyes brightened anyway. He looked perfect here, green curls splayed everywhere and shiny eyes and starry freckles. Shouto still wasn't sure what fate had decided they belonged together but he'd like to thank them some day.

A cheery song cut off the quiet atmosphere, jolting them away from each other. Izuku hesitated, but eventually grabbed his singing phone.

"Hello? Oh hi. No, Shouto's with me." He sat up at the sound of his name, resting his head on Izuku's shoulder and pressing his ear to the other side of his phone. Izuku gave him a side glance and an enduring smile.

He couldn't hear the other person's words, but they sounded cheery and excited, so Shouto guessed it was Uraraka. Izuku talked to her for a few moments as Shouto watched a stray weed growing in the sidewalk.

The courtyard had changed plenty in the months in between now and then. The sidewalk was a little more crumbled in some corners, a little more overgrown. Izuku was right, no one else ever seemed to be here. That meant this little corner of campus never looked as manicured as the rest of Yuuei. The grass was taller, weeds and flowers and leaves among it. The famous tree had lost its leaves. Even their bench was a paler shade of concrete, bleached by rain.

It still looked like that summer day in their dreams, however. Pristine and perfect and utterly theirs.

"Yeah, we're heading there now. Save us a spot, okay? Yeah okay, bye!" Izuku pulled his All Might decorated phone away from his ear.

He turned his head just slightly. Their noses were nearly touching, sharing the same air. Somehow, moments like this still got his heart racing. Must be that something about soulmates no one could ever explain.

"What did she want?" Shouto murmured. There wasn't much use in being any louder. Anyone he wanted to talk to was right here. "It was Uraraka, wasn't it?"

"She said they're starting the movie night now. Apparently Jirou and Tokoyami got together movies for a horror movie night." He answered.

"Already?"

"It's almost seven, Shou."

Shouto didn't care to look at his phone to check. The sky was turning a pretty pink indigo, clouds fluffy and fading into darkness. He wondered how he didn't notice, but then again, Izuku always had a habit of stealing his attention.

Izuku suddenly pressed a quick kiss to the side of his mouth. Shouto blinked in surprise. "What happened to 'we're in public'?"

His soulmate blushed and shrugged, Shouto finally pulling his head from his shoulder. "Felt like kissing you, I guess." He mumbled, so quiet Shouto barely heard him.

"Are we going to this movie night thing or not?" Shouto asked.

Izuku recovered and nodded. "If you want to."

He'd follow him anywhere. Instead, Shouto just shrugged and nodded.

"Okay."

Most of the class had already collected around the TV by the time they arrived. Satou was passing out snacks and Kaminari snatched something from him. Shouto watched for a moment as it sailed through the air and hit Bakugou's spiky head. Kirishima managed to keep his soulmate from attacking their classmate.

Izuku took his hand, claiming his attention again. He led him over to a corner of the room where Uraraka had saved them their promised seats. She waved and moved aside at the sight of them.

"Where have you guys been? You both disappeared like the second class let out." She questioned, mildly curious with an easy smile.

Shouto didn't answer, curling into the other corner while Izuku sat between them. The green-haired teenager flushed. "I dunno, we just went for a walk. Got a little lost, maybe."

"Maybe? Did you guys go off campus?" Uraraka asked, excitedly hushed.

"No! We were just at this place, don't worry about it!" His soulmate explained poorly.

Uraraka looked unimpressed, a knowing smile on her face. "Is it a soulmate place?"

"Maybe?"

"Yeah, whatever, Deku." She laughed and the green-haired boy relaxed.

Uraraka's voice suddenly got quieter, although Shouto still heard her anyway. "I'm glad you're happy, Deku."

His soulmate leaned against his side and Shouto pretended to not notice, watching Hagakure and Ashido wrestle with a blanket.

"Thanks, Ochako."

The movie began not long later, creepy music and hushed whispering filling the common room. Izuku was curled against Shouto's left side. He made sure it was a constant warm for him.

Shouto glanced at him, eyes half-lidded. Technicolor light danced on their faces and Izuku looked peaceful on his shoulder. He didn't even care what was happening on the screen. Shouto watched him for a moment, drowsily surprised.

He was peaceful too, with his soulmate by his side. This must be that thing everyone talked about when they talked about soulmates. The happiness of just being beside them. The calm he felt just by being in his arms.

Shouto smiled softly, cuddling closer to him. Izuku hummed in confusion, but he didn't answer, steadily drifting closer to their courtyard again.

"You couldn't even wait until the movie was over?" Izuku teased gently, walking out of nowhere. He strolled over, landing on the bench beside him.

"I was tired." Shouto shrugged. He supposed some sort of his consciousness was awake now, but it didn't feel like it. Being in the courtyard always felt so effortless. Dreamy, ironically.

"I don't think I made it up either. I don't remember much." The green-haired boy admitted.

"If we're quiet, we can hear it."

Sure enough, they both grew silent and Shouto heard the credit's music playing in the distance alongside tired, far away words belonging to their classmates. Maybe one of them would shake them awake, or maybe they'd just leave them together on the couch until the morning sunlight brought them back to the waking world.

He didn't really care which one, he'd be with Izuku either way.

"Do you think I should tell Kacchan?" His soulmate suddenly said quietly. It echoed and distorted gently, as if he was listening to an old tape. Sound was like that here.

Shouto vividly remembered the night where Izuku had showed up at his door, too stressed to sleep.

Too terrified.

He had confessed it all in the late night, the quirk, All Might, all the years before. The worst part had been the end, when Izuku had grown silent. Looking at him with teary eyes like he expected a rejection or maybe some sort of screaming from Shouto.

"If you want to tell him, I won't stop you. It's your quirk." Shouto finally answered, a weak smile when he glanced at his own left hand.

Izuku let out a watery sigh, maybe because of the memories, maybe because of the future ones. "I don't want to, but I think he already knows. He loves All Might too much to expose him, but it'll just be another thing for him to hold over my head. It already is." He said bitterly.

Shouto reached over and grabbed his hand, tangling their fingers together. "Whatever you decide, I'll still be here. You know that, right?"

Izuku glanced over, his motions seeming choppy and slowed in Shouto's eyes. When the blur cleared, Izuku was staring at him with wide, surprised eyes.

Shouto squeezed his hand. "What?"

His soulmate sniffed, using his other hand to wipe his eyes in a blurred haze. He shook his head wearily. "Nothing. You're just amazing, Shou."

He shrugged nonchalantly, his face heating. "I'm pretty sure you're the amazing one, 'Zuku."

He heard Izuku laugh, short and breathy, face buried in his shoulder.

"I love you."

Eternal summer floated in the wind, lazy sun beaming down on them, somewhere in between the dream and the memory of that day. Shouto pressed his nose into his curls and smiled.

Love.

Soulmates.

"I love you, too."

 _The End._

 **"Shou" and "Zuku" are my fucking weaknesses...**

 **There it is! I'm not sure if I'm even okay with that ending, but I can't keep dragging this out. Maybe I'll add something else onto it eventually, probably not. I'm sad to see this story go, but I guess they've all got to end eventually.**

 **A lot of you asked if I was going to continue writing, so I thought I'd talk about a few of my future ideas real quick. I can't imagine I'll really start anything before the summer, as final exams are coming up soon and I've got lots of things I've got to study for. My school schedule next year will probably be pretty busy as well, but I absolutely have plans to keep writing, even if the updates are less consistent.**

 **There are several Tododeku one-shots/shorter stories in the works right now, as well as some future additions to my two current series. I'm also playing around with a fantasy AU with Tododeku as well as a few aged up fics where they're pro-heroes. I hope I can participate in Tododeku week this year too, it's in July. Who knows which of those with be the next big story, but that's just what's in my drafts right now.**

 **I'd just like to say thank you one last time for reading this. I loved reading all of your comments throughout the story, and the continued support really helped me get this far. This was my first BNHA fic, so to have that much support in a fairly new fandom for me was really amazing. Thank you to all who reviewed pretty much every chapter (I see you, you're great) or to those who simply favorited or gave kudos.**

 **Thank you for everything and I hope I'll see you again soon in the future.**


	14. dreaming of you

**I'm so sorry that this took so long! I had to rewrite it a few times until I was satisfied. Billie Eilish's new album murdered my writer's block honestly.**

 **So thank you for your patience, and I hope you enjoy.**

"What about that one?"

"I think it's a bird."

"Really?" He asked doubtfully and his soulmate giggled.

"Of course!" Izuku took his left hand and used his finger to trace the sky. A glowing flame illuminated the sky. "See, those are the wings..."

Shouto hummed, the grass crinkled in his ear as he tilted his head. "I still don't see it, 'Zuku."

"What is it then?" His soulmate asked. He stole his hand back.

"I think it's just a cloud."

Izuku laughed, beaming beautifully. "Of course you'd say that."

Shouto glanced over to where he laid beside him. His soulmate's eyes glowed, grinning at the sky. A few blades of grass had made a home in his hair, blending into the green curls.

Izuku's laughter faded as he noticed his gaze. "What?"

Shouto smiled shyly at him. "Nothing really. I just love you."

His freckles hid behind a blush. "You're so sappy." His soulmate said, shifting closer to him. Shouto took the opportunity and pressed a kiss to his pink nose. "Shouto!" Izuku exclaimed.

"Hm?" Shouto hummed smugly. He shifted onto his side. His shirt probably had grass stains, but he couldn't find it in himself to care.

"We're in public."

"You act like we're not the only ones who ever come here." The green-haired boy shrugged awkwardly, cheeks still sunset pink.

"I'm surprised no one has found us yet." Izuku said a moment later.

"I used to eat lunch here, at the beginning of the year, but I've never seen anyone else here. Except you." Shouto admitted.

His soulmate looked thoughtful. "Weird, I wonder if it maybe has to do with our connection. Or maybe it's easier for us to find because something in our subconscious is always looking for it all the time. The same way we're always looking for each other, you know?" Izuku contemplated. His emerald eyes flickered over to him.

Shouto was silent under his gaze. "Maybe..." He finally said.

He didn't say anything exciting, but Izuku's eyes brightened anyway. He looked perfect here, green curls splayed everywhere and shiny eyes and starry freckles. Shouto still wasn't sure what fate had decided they belonged together but he'd like to thank them some day.

A cheery song cut off the quiet atmosphere, jolting them away from each other. Izuku hesitated, but eventually grabbed his singing phone.

"Hello? Oh hi. No, Shouto's with me." He sat up at the sound of his name, resting his head on Izuku's shoulder and pressing his ear to the other side of his phone. Izuku gave him a side glance and an enduring smile.

He couldn't hear the other person's words, but they sounded cheery and excited, so Shouto guessed it was Uraraka. Izuku talked to her for a few moments as Shouto watched a stray weed growing in the sidewalk.

The courtyard had changed plenty in the months in between now and then. The sidewalk was a little more crumbled in some corners, a little more overgrown. Izuku was right, no one else ever seemed to be here. That meant this little corner of campus never looked as manicured as the rest of Yuuei. The grass was taller, weeds and flowers and leaves among it. The famous tree had lost its leaves. Even their bench was a paler shade of concrete, bleached by rain.

It still looked like that summer day in their dreams, however. Pristine and perfect and utterly theirs.

"Yeah, we're heading there now. Save us a spot, okay? Yeah okay, bye!" Izuku pulled his All Might decorated phone away from his ear.

He turned his head just slightly. Their noses were nearly touching, sharing the same air. Somehow, moments like this still got his heart racing. Must be that something about soulmates no one could ever explain.

"What did she want?" Shouto murmured. There wasn't much use in being any louder. Anyone he wanted to talk to was right here. "It was Uraraka, wasn't it?"

"She said they're starting the movie night now. Apparently Jirou and Tokoyami got together movies for a horror movie night." He answered.

"Already?"

"It's almost seven, Shou."

Shouto didn't care to look at his phone to check. The sky was turning a pretty pink indigo, clouds fluffy and fading into darkness. He wondered how he didn't notice, but then again, Izuku always had a habit of stealing his attention.

Izuku suddenly pressed a quick kiss to the side of his mouth. Shouto blinked in surprise. "What happened to 'we're in public'?"

His soulmate blushed and shrugged, Shouto finally pulling his head from his shoulder. "Felt like kissing you, I guess." He mumbled, so quiet Shouto barely heard him.

"Are we going to this movie night thing or not?" Shouto asked.

Izuku recovered and nodded. "If you want to."

He'd follow him anywhere. Instead, Shouto just shrugged and nodded.

"Okay."

Most of the class had already collected around the TV by the time they arrived. Satou was passing out snacks and Kaminari snatched something from him. Shouto watched for a moment as it sailed through the air and hit Bakugou's spiky head. Kirishima managed to keep his soulmate from attacking their classmate.

Izuku took his hand, claiming his attention again. He led him over to a corner of the room where Uraraka had saved them their promised seats. She waved and moved aside at the sight of them.

"Where have you guys been? You both disappeared like the second class let out." She questioned, mildly curious with an easy smile.

Shouto didn't answer, curling into the other corner while Izuku sat between them. The green-haired teenager flushed. "I dunno, we just went for a walk. Got a little lost, maybe."

"Maybe? Did you guys go off campus?" Uraraka asked, excitedly hushed.

"No! We were just at this place, don't worry about it!" His soulmate explained poorly.

Uraraka looked unimpressed, a knowing smile on her face. "Is it a soulmate place?"

"Maybe?"

"Yeah, whatever, Deku." She laughed and the green-haired boy relaxed.

Uraraka's voice suddenly got quieter, although Shouto still heard her anyway. "I'm glad you're happy, Deku."

His soulmate leaned against his side and Shouto pretended to not notice, watching Hagakure and Ashido wrestle with a blanket.

"Thanks, Ochako."

The movie began not long later, creepy music and hushed whispering filling the common room. Izuku was curled against Shouto's left side. He made sure it was a constant warm for him.

Shouto glanced at him, eyes half-lidded. Technicolor light danced on their faces and Izuku looked peaceful on his shoulder. He didn't even care what was happening on the screen. Shouto watched him for a moment, drowsily surprised.

He was peaceful too, with his soulmate by his side. This must be that thing everyone talked about when they talked about soulmates. The happiness of just being beside them. The calm he felt just by being in his arms.

Shouto smiled softly, cuddling closer to him. Izuku hummed in confusion, but he didn't answer, steadily drifting closer to their courtyard again.

"You couldn't even wait until the movie was over?" Izuku teased gently, walking out of nowhere. He strolled over, landing on the bench beside him.

"I was tired." Shouto shrugged. He supposed some sort of his consciousness was awake now, but it didn't feel like it. Being in the courtyard always felt so effortless. Dreamy, ironically.

"I don't think I made it up either. I don't remember much." The green-haired boy admitted.

"If we're quiet, we can hear it."

Sure enough, they both grew silent and Shouto heard the credit's music playing in the distance alongside tired, far away words belonging to their classmates. Maybe one of them would shake them awake, or maybe they'd just leave them together on the couch until the morning sunlight brought them back to the waking world.

He didn't really care which one, he'd be with Izuku either way.

"Do you think I should tell Kacchan?" His soulmate suddenly said quietly. It echoed and distorted gently, as if he was listening to an old tape. Sound was like that here.

Shouto vividly remembered the night where Izuku had showed up at his door, too stressed to sleep.

Too terrified.

He had confessed it all in the late night, the quirk, All Might, all the years before. The worst part had been the end, when Izuku had grown silent. Looking at him with teary eyes like he expected a rejection or maybe some sort of screaming from Shouto.

"If you want to tell him, I won't stop you. It's your quirk." Shouto finally answered, a weak smile when he glanced at his own left hand.

Izuku let out a watery sigh, maybe because of the memories, maybe because of the future ones. "I don't want to, but I think he already knows. He loves All Might too much to expose him, but it'll just be another thing for him to hold over my head. It already is." He said bitterly.

Shouto reached over and grabbed his hand, tangling their fingers together. "Whatever you decide, I'll still be here. You know that, right?"

Izuku glanced over, his motions seeming choppy and slowed in Shouto's eyes. When the blur cleared, Izuku was staring at him with wide, surprised eyes.

Shouto squeezed his hand. "What?"

His soulmate sniffed, using his other hand to wipe his eyes in a blurred haze. He shook his head wearily. "Nothing. You're just amazing, Shou."

He shrugged nonchalantly, his face heating. "I'm pretty sure you're the amazing one, 'Zuku."

He heard Izuku laugh, short and breathy, face buried in his shoulder.

"I love you."

Eternal summer floated in the wind, lazy sun beaming down on them, somewhere in between the dream and the memory of that day. Shouto pressed his nose into his curls and smiled.

Love.

Soulmates.

"I love you, too."

 _The End._

 **"Shou" and "Zuku" are my fucking weaknesses...**

 **There it is! I'm not sure if I'm even okay with that ending, but I can't keep dragging this out. Maybe I'll add something else onto it eventually, probably not. I'm sad to see this story go, but I guess they've all got to end eventually.**

 **A lot of you asked if I was going to continue writing, so I thought I'd talk about a few of my future ideas real quick. I can't imagine I'll really start anything before the summer, as final exams are coming up soon and I've got lots of things I've got to study for. My school schedule next year will probably be pretty busy as well, but I absolutely have plans to keep writing, even if the updates are less consistent.**

 **There are several Tododeku one-shots/shorter stories in the works right now, as well as some future additions to my two current series. I'm also playing around with a fantasy AU with Tododeku as well as a few aged up fics where they're pro-heroes. I hope I can participate in Tododeku week this year too, it's in July. Who knows which of those with be the next big story, but that's just what's in my drafts right now.**

 **I'd just like to say thank you one last time for reading this. I loved reading all of your comments throughout the story, and the continued support really helped me get this far. This was my first BNHA fic, so to have that much support in a fairly new fandom for me was really amazing. Thank you to all who reviewed pretty much every chapter (I see you, you're great) or to those who simply favorited or gave kudos.**

 **Thank you for everything and I hope I'll see you again soon in the future.**


End file.
